By Remez Sasson
Do you allow people and circumstances control your life, moods, and state of mind?
How do you feel, if your boss criticizes your work, or tells you something you don’t like?
How do you react, when a driver enters recklessly, and without signaling, into your lane, in front of your car?
In these and similar situations, do you, keep thinking about the incident? Do you get angry, unhappy or frustrated?
This happens to almost everybody, almost everyday. Just think, how many minutes, and often hours, you spend every day, dwelling on what this person said and that person did. If you take these incidents too personally you become unfocused and inefficient at work, at home, at everywhere else.
We let people and circumstances control our life, if we let them affect our moods and state of mind.
This happens at home, school, college, work, at the mall, on the street, and everywhere else.
We don’t always have control over circumstances and situations. This is how life is.
We don’t have control over people words, and we don’t have control over people’s behavior, but we can teach ourselves to react differently.
We don’t have control over everything that happens to us, but we can learn to act and react, emotionally and mentally, in a different way. We can learn to choose our reactions and behavior. We can learn to remain detached and unaffected.
- How can we avoid negative reactions, anger, and dwelling on hurts?
- How can we stop taking too personally what someone said?
- How can we stop behaving like a puppet on a string, letting people and circumstances pull our strings?
There are several solutions.
There are several things you can do, when you are in one of the above-mentioned situations, which can help you loosen the effect of people and circumstances on you. These are first-aid steps, and some of them are well known:
- Breathing deeply a few times, before reacting.
- Trying to replace your thoughts with positive thoughts.
- Relaxing your body.
These, and many similar tips are helpful, but sometimes, when in such a situation, you might not remember what to do, or the feelings, anger and reactions are too strong, not allowing you to do something about them.
There is an effective method, but it requires some learning. This is emotional detachment. Developing a certain degree of emotional detachment can make great changes in everyone’s life.
When you can express emotional detachment in the above-mentioned situations, in a natural way, with no effort, it becomes second nature, and you won’t have to worry about having you strings pulled. You will gain a sort of inner strength and calmness, unaffected by outside sources.
Emotional detachment protects you from being upset by external conditions or situations. It does not necessarily change your circumstances, but it allows you to act and react calmly and with common sense, without emotional agitation, which often clouds the judgment and wastes unnecessary emotional and physical energy.
Here are a few useful tips for emotional detachment:
- Practice letting go.
- Substitute your negative thoughts, fears, and worries, with happy and positive thoughts.
- Learn to observe your thoughts and feelings. In time, this will enable you to detach from unwanted thoughts, feelings and reactions.
- Learn to loosen your attachment to unpleasant memories and the past.
- Avoid people that depress you, let you down, or unjustly criticize you.
Developing emotional detachment is the topic of the book Emotional Detachment For a Better Life. It teaches you to free yourself from the emotional control of people and circumstances. It is a simple, and easy to follow eBook, with practical information about emotional detachment.
Developing emotional detachment is the topic of the book Emotional Detachment For a Better Life. It teaches you how to free yourself from the emotional control of people and circumstances. It is a simple, and easy to follow eBook, with practical information about emotional detachment.
Emotional Detachment For a Better life is an eBook in PDF format, which you can immediately download to your computer, iPad, smartphone or reading device.
Price $23.95 Immediate Download!
Remez Sasson is an author and blogger. He is the founder of SuccessConsciousness.com, a website and blog about self improvement and spiritual growth.
Remez Sasson is the author of several life transforming books, containing a wealth of information, advice and guidance.
There is an old saying that states that we can only hate something that is a part of us. So if I find myself encountering a fit of hate/rage or anger over an every day event or something out of my control I question why it bothers me so much?
What is the real root of the problem?
Often times it turns out to be something entirely under my control and unrelated to the event at hand.
-Sanjay
Dear Remez,
First of all, thank you for sharing this wonderful thoughts in this article. I am really impressed. I like the way you have explained this day-to-day life situations and provided very good solutions as well. I learned few things from this blog. I have bookmarked your site and will visit every now and then.
To give you a bit of idea I have created my own website and would like to share the knolwledge and experience to make this world a better place to live. Hope you will visit my site: http://www.pulindave.com to know more about me. Please feel free to provide feedback for my site, in this way it will give me inspiraiton and motivation to do better and better.
Once again thank you for sharing this info.
Good Luck
Best wishes,
Pulin
I think I’d have to agree that emotional detachment is an important part of spiritual development. It’s a question of not letting the emotions rule you. A hard thing to do!
I am most grateful for this insightful article and intend to put it into practice in everyday of my life. Cheers.
Olumide
Actually its all about our emotions who rises very quickly when someone really hurt us.Its all about us control on ourself how we control them>you have mentioned some good points to control.Apart from them meditation is good healing process which bring our focus back to the daily work.
This website is very helpful for everyone. It helps to broadens our mind and make us more and more capable. It throws bad feelings and add good feelings in our mind.
I agree with you Ashim. We all need to read this kind of articles and become more stronger to fight against the circumstances.