Look at the people around you, and you will discover that almost everyone seems to get emotionally involved, and go through the ups and downs of the people close to them. Sometimes, they also get emotionally involved with the problems of strangers too.

Look, for example, at how parents feel in relation to their children. They get anxious and stressed by whatever happens to them at school and with friends. Sometimes, this goes too far, making the parents nervous, restless and tense. This is an unhealthy situation, draining their strength and energy, and preventing them from having a sound sleep at night.

Is this necessary? You might say that you need to sympathize and empathize. Yes, you are right, but only up to a certain point.

A certain amount of empathy is okay, but when it becomes exaggerated it causes unnecessary emotional pain and suffering.

You need to realize that everyone has his or her own life, with its ups and downs, and things he or she has to deal with in order to grow and get stronger. You don’t need to solve everyone’s problem. What makes you think that you can do it better for them?

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Read the rest of Too Much Empathy Does Not Help Anyone (303 words)

© Remez Sasson for Remez Sasson Blog on Self Improvement and Spiritual Growth, 2011. | Permalink | 4 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: detachment, emotional involvement, empathy

Do you take too personally what people say to you?

Do you feel offended by remarks, actions or behavior of other people?

Do you take every minor event too seriously, letting it limit or frighten you?

Did you know that quite often the offence is not real, and the so-called offender never intended to offend you at all?

Sometimes, you might have a wrong interpretation of someone’s words or behavior, due to lack of sufficient information or missing facts. Does this justify feeling offended? In such cases, the so-called offender might not know what’s the matter with you.

On other occasions, even if the other person did try to offend you intentionally, why accept, think, or dwell on what he or she said? It is absolutely foolish to participate in the game of hurt feelings.

I know, you might say it is easier said than done. When you feel hurt, insulted and angry, you cannot sweep these feelings under the carpet, but good and worthwhile things require some effort. Learning how to stop taking things too personally and too personally require that you invest effort and time.

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Read the rest of How to Stop Taking Things Too Personally and Seriously (371 words)

© Remez Sasson for Remez Sasson Blog on Self Improvement and Spiritual Growth, 2011. | Permalink | 3 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: detachment, taking things personally

How do you feel when your plans do not work out?

How do you feel, and how do you react, when an electrical appliance stops working?

How do you react when a driver suddenly enters into the lane in front of you on the highway?

What happens when you are not treated well by friends, neighbors colleagus or strangers?

How do you react, when you feel that you have not been given a good service at a shop?

How do you react, when your boss requires too much of you, or yells at you?

How do you react, when someone behaves impolitely toward you?

How do you feel, when someone keeps talking about his or her fears or problems?

Do you get angry easily? Do your moods go up and down often?

Do you spend a lot of time brooding over problems, fears, or things said to you?

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Read the rest of A Few Questions To Ask Yourself (387 words)

© Remez Sasson for Remez Sasson Blog on Self Improvement and Spiritual Growth, 2011. | Permalink | One comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: behavior, emotional detachment, reactions

Emotional detachment is often associated with the inability to connect with others on an emotional level. It is also regarded as means to cope with fears and anxiety, by avoiding the situations that trigger them. It is a way to stay away from feelings one does not want to experience. Sometimes, this state arises in cases of trauma, when one wants to disconnect for the traumatic situation. In this case, one is physically present, but being elsewhere in his or her mind, as if not being present.

However, emotional detachment has a positive side too, and this is what I am talking about in my book, emotional detachment for a better life. Developing this ability consciously and intentionally is something quite different. It is not a morbid state, but a state of inner peace and inner power.

Reading these words might lead confusion about the meaning of emotional detachment, especially for people, who regard it as an unhealthy situation, but as I said, it has its positive side. It is quite different when you develop emotional detachment intently, and in a conscious way. By doing so, you develop the positive aspects that can be very useful in many areas of your life.

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Read the rest of Confusion About the Meaning of Emotional Detachment (310 words)

© Remez Sasson for Remez Sasson Blog on Self Improvement and Spiritual Growth, 2011. | Permalink | One comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: emotional detachment

Teacher: It is important to understand what is attachment and how to overcome it, since it has much to do with understanding and developing detachment.

Attachment is an emotional bond to another person, to possessions, memories, habits, or certain situations. Attachment is usually motivated by desires, fear of loss, and by the unwillingness to make changes.

Desire, often leads to attachment to the object or subject of the desire, and this leads to fear of loss. Fear of loss, in turn, leads to the tendency to hold tightly to people or possessions, but this behavior can cause suffering, when there is change or loss.

Attachment is a kind of dependency that allows possessions, circumstances, people, memories, thoughts, habits and beliefs to control and manipulate one’s life, moods and state of mind. Attachment is the fear of letting go, of leaving the old and embracing the new. It is the fear of change.

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Read the rest of Attachment – An Excerpt from the Book (181 words)

© Remez Sasson for Remez Sasson Blog on Self Improvement and Spiritual Growth, 2011. | Permalink | No comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: attachment, desire, fear