Too Much Empathy Does Not Help Anyone

Look at the people around you, and you will discover that almost everyone seems to get emotionally involved with other people’s pains and problems. They get involved, and get affected, not only by close people, but also with the problems of strangers too.

Look, for example, at how parents feel in relation to their children. They get anxious and stressed by whatever happens to them at school and with friends. Sometimes, this goes too far, making the parents nervous, restless and tense. This is an unhealthy situation, draining their strength and energy, and preventing them from having a sound sleep at night.

We care not only about our children, but also about other family members, about friends, and about colleagues.

That’s okay, as long as you don’t cause yourself unnecessary emotional pain. Too much empathy does not help anyone and it does not help you.

Be caring, loving and helpful. It is possible to do so, without burdening yourself with other people’s feelings.

You might say that you need to sympathize and empathize. Yes, you are right, but only up to a certain point.

A certain amount of empathy is okay, but when it becomes exaggerated it causes unnecessary emotional pain and suffering.

You need to realize that everyone has his or her own life, with its ups and downs, and things he or she has to deal with in order to grow and get stronger. You don’t need to solve everyone’s problem. What makes you think that you can do it better than them?

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How to Stop Taking Things Too Personally and Seriously

Do you take too personally things people say to you? Do you feel offended by remarks, actions or behavior of other people? Do you take every minor event too seriously, letting it limit or frighten you? There is no need to take anything too personally! It’s just a waste of mental and emotional energy. Often, … Continue Reading…

A Few Questions To Ask Yourself

Tress and WaterfallsHow do you feel when your plans do not work out?

How do you feel, and how do you react, when an electrical appliance stops working?

How do you react when a driver suddenly enters into the lane in front of you on the highway?

What happens when you are not treated well by friends, neighbors colleagues or strangers?

How do you react, when you feel that you have not been given a good service at a shop?

How do you react, when your boss requires too much of you, or yells at you?

How do you react, when someone behaves impolitely toward you?

How do you feel, when someone keeps talking about his or her fears or problems?

Do you get angry easily? Do your moods go up and down often?

Do you spend a lot of time brooding over problems, fears, or things said to you?

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Attachment – An Excerpt from the Book

An excerpt from the book Emotional Detachment for Better Life By Remez Sasson

Emotional Detachment for Better LifeTeacher: It is important to understand what is attachment and how to overcome it, since it has much to do with understanding and developing detachment.

Attachment is an emotional bond to another person, to possessions, memories, habits, or certain situations. Attachment is usually motivated by desires, fear of loss, and by the unwillingness to make changes.

Desire, often leads to attachment to the object or subject of the desire, and this leads to fear of loss. Fear of loss, in turn, leads to the tendency to hold tightly to people or possessions, but this behavior can cause suffering, when there is change or loss.

Attachment is a kind of dependency that allows possessions, circumstances, people, memories, thoughts, habits and beliefs to control and manipulate one’s life, moods and state of mind. Attachment is the fear of letting go, of leaving the old and embracing the new. It is the fear of change.

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Emotional Detachment Can Improve Your Life

  • Are you quick to get angry?
  • Do your moods go up and down often?
  • Are you easily affected by what people say or think about you?
  • Can an insignificant incident destroy your whole day?
  • Do you allow situations and people to affect your moods and behavior?
  • Do you lack inner peace?

Imagine how free, relieved and happy you would be, if you could stay calm and poised in the midst of whatever is happening in your life. Think how much physical, emotional and mental energy you could spare, if you were able to avoid becoming upset, angry or moody.

Emotional agitation, anger, and hurt feelings, cause stress and unhappiness, and lead nowhere, except to more pain, suffering and broken relationships. They disturb your mind, disrupt your concentration, and prevent you from focusing on the matters at hand. If you wish to enjoy inner peace, it is imperative that you try to gain at least some degree of detachment.

Too much emotional involvement with matters that do not concern you, or are not important, take too much of your time, energy and health. Excessive emotional involvement agitates your mind and feelings, and prevents you from experiencing inner peace.

Emotional involvement leads to attachment, to fear of letting go, and to avoiding changes. If you wish progress in life, you need at least some degree of emotional detachment, otherwise you let people and events, your thoughts and your past, tie you down.

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Do You Know What Emotional Detachment Is?

Do you know what emotional detachment is? I am not speaking about indifference, staying away from people, or stifling your emotions, because of the fear that you might get hurt. I am talking about what I call, “positive emotional detachment”. This kind of emotional detachment can help you maintain a state of calmness and self-control, … Continue Reading…

Acceptance Leads to Inner Peace

Inner Peace

There are certain things we can change in our life, but there are also things that we cannot change. If we keep worrying about them we lose our peace, but if we accept them, they stop being important, and we stop worrying about them. What we cannot change and cannot influence no matter what, should not be of concern to us.

People tend to focus and think about things which they have no control over. Why worry about something that worry will not change? Why care about what other people think of us, when we are not even sure what they are thinking about? Why worry about the weather, if we cannot change it? Why worry and feel concerned about other people actions, about which we have no control?

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The Journey to Inner Peace and the Noise Around Us

There is so much constant noise around us caused by people talking, the TV and radio screaming, music, people using their cellular phones, cars and other sources of noise. Inner Peace

There are so many things that attract and distract our attention, taking a lot of our time, energy and attention, leading to tiredness and exhaustion. All this leads people to desire some peace and quiet, but though it might look strange, people often avoid quietude, and dread a quiet environment, preferring the noise, the constant activity, and hustle and bustle of daily life. They do their best to avoid any moments of quietude, of being with themselves, feeling uneasy in such situations.

Many people prefer to be in the company of other people most of the time. When alone, they want to watch the TV or listen to the radio. They just can’t bear to be alone with their thoughts. They need to hear people talking, and they need to talk.

Do you, too, behave in this way? Are you always busy listening to the news, reading the papers, paying attention to what people say about you, so much so that you have eventually failed to enjoy a few quiet moments with yourself?

Focusing your attention, mind and senses on the outside, alienates you from your inner self, from the most important part of you. This leads to stress, tension, resentment and unhappiness. You are more than your physical, more than your personality, and you are starving this inner part in you when you constantly seek noise, and seek to engage your mind and senses in what is going around you. This makes you forget your true needs and your true essence.

Cultivating inner peace doesn’t living a boring uninteresting life. It doesn’t mean lack of interest in the external world and it doesn’t mean becoming less alive, less creative and less adventurous. On the contrary, you become happier, more aware, more alive. You can do anything you did before, but with a new perspective, new and improved viewpoint.

If you wish to reduce the stress, the strain and unhappiness in your live you need to cultivate inner peace.

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