How To Become Assertive

By David Bonham-Carter

The way you act towards other people can be categorised into three types of behaviour: Passive, Aggressive and Assertive.

If you tend to act passively then you may be seeking to avoid conflict, often at the expense of your own needs.

If you tend to act aggressively, you may go to the other extreme and escalate conflict in an attempt (not always successful) to get your own needs met.

Most people would agree that usually it is best to avoid both these extremes if you can and to act assertively – to express your own needs and wants, not to hide them, but to do so in a way which is reasonable and which allows others the opportunity to communicate their wishes and feelings too.

If you are in a relationship with someone or in a work situation where you feel that your needs are not being met or that the other person is acting in a way which you don’t like, then it will usually be helpful to express your feelings and thoughts to them assertively rather than to conceal them passively or to express them too aggressively.

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Do You Finish What You Start? Self Discipline – Perseverance

Do you finish what you start? Do you possess enough inner strength to go through with what you start doing?

How many times have you started to do something with enthusiasm and energy, and then lost your enthusiasm and energy after a while?

How many times have you made promises to yourselves and to others, with the intention of following them through, only to forget about them after some time?

Sometimes, we don’t finish what we start, because we realize that:

  • We don’t really want what we started doing.
  • It requires too much time or money, than what we are willing to invest.
  • We realize that there are more important things we want.
  • We have a gut feeling that this is not the right thing to do.
  • Quite often, we make promises and start doing things without prior thinking and analysis. We start doing things due to temporary enthusiasm, in response to something we saw or heard, but when the enthusiasm wanes, so does the desire to follow through.

In all these cases, and other similar ones, our decision to quit what we are doing might be justified sometimes, and unjustified at other times. The problem starts when quit, due to lack of self-discipline and perseverance. If we lack self-discipline and perseverance, how can we achieve anything, even small minor, everyday tasks?

How do you feel when time after time you quit because you lack self-discipline and perseverance? Do you feel frustrated? Do you lose faith in yourself to do things?

The good news is that you can develop these two important inner assets:

  1. Think before you take action. Many of the projects we quit, we start without thinking and analyzing their usefulness.
  2. Make your priorities before you start. What is more important now?
  3. Whenever you feel that you are losing enthusiasm and interest, think about and visualize the benefits, and how what you are doing will benefit and improve your life, and other people’s lives.

I won’t tell you, “Stick with what you are doing, no matter what”, because if you need to be told this sentence, it means you lack self discipline and perseverance, and these words won’t help you. You will need to develop these skills, but how can you do so, if you cannot finish what you start? This is a vicious circle situation. You need some measure of self-discipline, and also a strong incentive to start. How can you develop self-discipline and perseverance, if you lack the ability to persevere?

The solution is to start with simple exercises designed to develop self-discipline and perseverance, and with tasks that you can accomplish quickly. By acting in this way you build self-confidence and faith in yourself, and you will gradually be able to do things that require more effort. In time, you will be able to use the skills you develop, to follow and persevere with any plan, project, goal or resolution.

I will not mention these exercises in this article, since I have written about them in other articles. You can find these articles at the main website, under the Willpower and Self Discipline articles, and also under the inner strength category, here at this blog.

For more detailed information, exercises and instructions, I would recommend that you read the book Willpower and Self Discipline, which you can find at this website.

With just some training, you will start to see results. You will begin to finish what you start doing.

What is Self-Discipline? Definitions

Self DisciplineBy Remez Sasson

Self-discipline appears in various forms, such as perseverance, restraint, endurance, thinking before acting, finishing what you start doing, and as the ability to carry out one’s decisions and plans, in spite of inconvenience, hardships or obstacles.

Self-discipline also means self-control, the ability to avoid unhealthy excess of anything that could lead to negative consequences.

One of the main characteristics of self-discipline is the ability to forgo instant and immediate gratification and pleasure, in favor of some greater gain or more satisfying results, even if this requires effort and time.

The term self-discipline often causes some discomfort and resistance, due to the erroneous notion that it is something unpleasant, difficult to attain, and which requires a lot of effort and sacrifice. Actually, exercising and attaining self discipline can be fun, does not require strenuous efforts, and the benefits are great.

Read the Complete Article:
What is self-Discipline – Definitions

Find more information and exercises
Read a book with full instructions and exercises

Do You Need Self-Discipline to Achieve Success?

By Remez Sasson

Everyone wants to achieve success, but most people just wish they were successful and do nothing about it. Others try doing one thing or another, but quit after a while, either because they see that they have to invest time and effort, are afraid of the competition, because nothing happens immediately, or because they are afraid of failure. Usually, only a small percentage acts, persevere and does not give up.

Why some of the people achieve success? They achieve success because they possess self-discipline, among other things. This ability helps them to avoid wasting their day doing things that gets them nowhere. They are able to avoid temptations, such as spending hours on Facebook, sitting hours in front of the television, or jumping from one thing to another.

You need self-discipline to achieve success

Self-discipline equals perseverance, one of the most important qualities you need for achieving success. Speaking of success, I don’t mean just financial success or status, but also success in many other areas other than career and job. Success in diet, in studies, in learning a foreign language, learning a new skill, losing weight, managing your time more efficiently, or changing some of your habits.

There are people who are appalled by the word self discipline. They associate it with self-denial, limitation, pain, scarcity and lack. This is a completely wrong assumption!

You use self discipline not to deny yourself and inflict pain on yourself, but for manifesting inner strength, for avoiding the distractions around you that take away your attention from your goal, and for sticking to what you want to do until you do it.

It is the number one factor for being perseverant. Look at the people around you who succeed in carrying out their decisions, doing efficiently their chores and tasks, and achieving their plans and goals. They all possess perseverance, and perseverance is self-discipline.

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Self Discipline – The Benefits, Importance and Uses

By Remez Sasson

Self Discipline, Its Benefits and Importance

One of the main characteristics of self-discipline is the ability to forgo instant and immediate gratification and pleasure, in favor of some greater gain or more satisfying results, even if this requires effort and time. Self discipline gives you the power to stick to your decisions and follow them through, without changing your mind, and is therefore one of the important requirements for achieving goals.

The possession of self discipline enables you to choose, and then persevere with actions, thoughts and behavior, which lead to improvement and success. It also gives you the power and inner strength to overcome addictions, procrastination and laziness and to follow through whatever you do.

This is a very useful and needed skill in everyone’s life, and though most people acknowledge its importance, yet very few do anything to develop and strengthen it.

Contrary to common belief, self-discipline is not a severe and limited behavior or a restrictive lifestyle. It is a very useful inner power, which enables one to persevere and not give up, in spite of failure and setbacks. It grants its possessor self control, and the ability to resist temptations and distractions that tend to stand in the way of attaining aims and goals. In fact, it is one of the most important pillars of real and stable success.

Acting in the way mentioned above leads to self confidence, self esteem and inner strength, and to happiness and satisfaction.

Lack of self discipline may lead to failure to reach goals, even minor ones, and to loss, health and relationships problems, obesity and other troubles.

Life often presents challenges and problems on the path to success and achievement, and in order to rise above them you have to act with perseverance and persistence, and this requires self discipline. You also this skill to cure and overcome eating disorders, addictions, smoking, drinking and other negative habits.

Read the complete article:
Self Discipline, Its Benefits and Importance.