Don’t Let the Past Shape Your Future

Most of the events of your life have been shaped by your thoughts, attitude and expectations. If your life doesn’t change and doesn’t improve, it means that you are not changing your thoughts, attitude and expectations. It is like playing the same movie in your mind, over and again, and enacting it in your real life, time and again.

There is no reason to cling to thoughts, beliefs, attitude and expectations. You can change them if you really want. If you change them, you will start seeing life in a different way, acting in a different way, and consequently, changing the events and situations in your life.

Even if circumstances do not change, or cannot be changed, your attitude would be different, and therefore, the impact of circumstances on you would be different, milder, or even non-existent.

If your thoughts have always been negative, and you keep repeating them, how do you expect to improve your life?

Don’t let the past shape your future.

Your past thoughts created your present, but there is no need to repeat these thoughts. You can think other thoughts. You can think of what you want, irrespective of your current situation.

If you start thinking about success, instead of thinking about failure, and keep this way of thinking, in time, these thoughts would affect your life. What you think in the present, would change your future.

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What is Social Anxiety?

Social anxiety, also sometimes known as social phobia, is a condition in which you experience high levels of anxiety about being criticized by or judged in a negative way by others. In some surveys as many as 10% of people have been found to suffer from the condition, although it was not commonly recognized as a form of anxiety disorder until the 1980s. If you suffer from social anxiety then you may experience some or all of the following:

  • Extreme worry that in public places such as at meetings, work or when shopping that other people will be watching you and finding fault with you
  • Severe feelings of inferiority or inadequacy and a sense that other people are more intelligent than you or that you have nothing to say to them that will be of value
  • Fear of going into a situation where you are expected to contribute to a discussion or give a presentation
  • Extreme sensitivity to criticism from others
  •  Physical symptoms such as sweating, blushing, stammering or shaking when thinking about having to take part in a situation about which you are nervous.
  • Perfectionist tendencies – believing that unless you to do something perfectly you have failed

What can you do to if you suffer from social anxiety?

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Is It Necessary to Control Anger?

Angry Monkey

Is it necessary to control anger? The answer is no! Controlling anger is not the best option.

Confused? I will make this clearer.

When you are angry, and you try to control the anger, one or more things might happen:

You will bottle up your anger, which is very unhealthy.

You will fight your anger, which means that you will focus your attention on it, trying to restrain it. However, what you focus on grows, so that though you try to control your anger, you get the opposite result. Focus your attention on controlling anger leads to inner fight, more attention paid to the anger, and consequently, more anger and frustration.

Anger is best controlled indirectly.

There are several things that you can do to avoid getting angry, or if you get angry, not let the anger grow. I have provided a few simple tips in my articles, but they don’t focus directly on controlling the anger. These tips can help you calm down, and they can help you prevent anger from culminating. You can use them in the various situations you encounter in your day-to-day life.

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Do You Want to Improve the Quality of Your Life?

BooksDo you want to improve the quality of your life?

Most people have a desire to improve the quality of their life, earn more money, get a better job, have a good house, or find someone to love.

Some people get what they want, many others just dream about a better life, and a few try to do something about it. They read books, attend seminars, and participate in workshops and courses, with the hope that they will help them.

The question is, what are you doing with all the information you are collecting? Do you just finish one book and then start another, go to this course and that workshop? Do you hope that the next book, the next lecture or the next retreat would help you? Do you spend a lot of money on books, workshops and seminars, but stay in the same place?

Reading, and attending lectures and courses are great, provided they teach some real stuff, but without personal work and effort, nothing happens. You can read million of books, accumulate a lot of theoretical information and understanding, but your life won’t change.

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People Judge You Like They Do A Book, By The Cover

I’m sure that you’ve heard the old saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover”. However, according to book publishers, that is exactly what we do. Book publishers will tell you that your cover design is one of the most important decisions that you can make when creating a book.

The reason is that research has proven that when making a decision to purchase a book, most people spend about 3 seconds looking at the front cover and about 7 seconds looking at the back cover. Maybe they will flip through the book quickly; nevertheless, if they like the “look” of the book then they will buy it. Some may flip through the book to see of there is any content – but most don’t. They purchase the book based on its “look.”

Strangely enough, people do the same thing with you; they judge you by your “cover” – your image.

We all create an “image,” in people’s mind. That “image,” can often be quite different that we have of ourselves. Yet, other people’s image of us may be more correct. Yet, their image is more correct. Why? Because it is sometimes hard to see ourselves as we appear to others and that appearance is, usually, more aligned with the “true” you. (We are just “too close to the forest to see the trees.”)

For example, you may feel that you are a good person, a hard worker, and a good and trusted friend who is always fun to be around; however, others may see you as a person who is insecure, who gossips, and is whiny.

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Complete Those Unfinished Projects

Seeing a project through to the end is a brilliant way to give ourselves a feeling of true achievement and satisfaction. No matter what the task, recognizing that it’s finally complete helps us feel good about ourselves.

What a shame then that so many of us fall short of the finishing line so often. And what a shame too that whatever it is we haven’t quite completed drags down the way we feel about ourselves. The trouble is that those unfinished projects just don’t go away – they sit there feeling sorry for themselves, and the longer we try to ignore them the harder it is to do something about them.

We even lose our willingness to start something new because, we tell ourselves, what’s the point when it probably won’t get finished anyhow?

Good News and great news

The good news is that getting restarted can be as rewarding and as exciting as when you first began. And the great news is that because of all the hard work you’ve already put in, you’re now much closer to the finishing line.

In fact, if you think about it positively (and you always should) taking a break is a bit of a masterstroke.

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Less Than Perfect – 5 Ways that Perfectionism Prevents Happiness and Achievement

Would anyone seriously argue with the saying nobody’s perfect ? Of course not. And yet throughout the world millions of otherwise sane and intelligent people saddle themselves with a life principle that dooms them to frustration and constant disappointment – the desire to do things perfectly.

You could argue that setting such high standards is good for you, leading naturally to always being at your best. Many people do just that with proud statements like: oh yes, I’m a bit of a perfectionist – achieving anything but the absolute best is failure in my book.

But here’s the perfectionist paradox – as a perfectionist you can simultaneously hold feelings of moral superiority because of the high standards you’ve set yourself, and inferiority because you never meet those standards. Far from leading to happiness and achievement such attitudes are instead deeply negative.

Here are five reasons why:

1. It leads to a constant sense of failure.

Perfection is a vanishingly rare occurrence and perfectionists tend to focus on the flaws rather than the achievement. So no matter how well a task is done, there is always a sense of failure that it wasn’t done even better. An example is the golfer who hits a stunning shot to within a few feet of the pin but feels disappointed with himself for not getting it even closer.

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Can You Improve Your Life?

Can you improve your life?

Can you achieve success?

Do all the books, courses, webinars and workshops on self-improvement, personal growth and on success really help?

Yes, they do help, but not always, and not all people benefit from them equally.

Do you spend a lot of money on books courses and workshops, but nothing changes in your life, nothing improves in your life?

So why is that?

Let me ask you, do you really and truly want to make changes in your life?

Would you do anything to achieve the success you want?

Would you invest time and money in study, research and the necessary actions to improve your life or achieve your dreams?

  • Most people have dreams, but back in their mind, deep in their subconscious mind, they do not really want their dreams to come true. They are afraid of the changes in their life that the achievement of their dream might lead to, and in a subconscious way resist the changes, postpone them or refuse to take action.
  • There are people who feel they do not deserve to better their life.
  • Other people are deep in negative thinking.
  • People love the familiar and afraid of the new.
  • People have dreams, but are afraid to follow their dreams.

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