By Remez Sasson
Emotional detachment is often associated with the inability to connect with others on an emotional level. It is also regarded as means to cope with fears and anxiety, by avoiding the situations that trigger them. It is a way to stay away from feelings one does not want to experience. Sometimes, this state arises in cases of trauma, when one wants to disconnect for the traumatic situation. In this case, one is physically present, but being elsewhere in his or her mind, as if not being present.
However, emotional detachment has a positive side too, and this is what I am talking about in my book, emotional detachment for a better life. Developing this ability consciously and intentionally is something quite different. It is not a morbid state, but a state of inner peace and inner power.
Reading these words might lead confusion about the meaning of emotional detachment, especially for people, who regard it as an unhealthy situation, but as I said, it has its positive side. It is quite different when you develop emotional detachment intently, and in a conscious way. By doing so, you develop the positive aspects that can be very useful in many areas of your life.
If you have been meditating, or if you have been reading spiritual literature, you would have discovered how much detachment is highly regarded, as a means for progress in meditation, quieting the chatter of the mind, gaining inner peace, and as an important step on the way to spiritual enlightenment.
In ordinary, daily life, it is of great value for mental assertiveness, protecting your psychic integrity, and being able to think and act independently, unaffected by other people’s thoughts, emotions, worries or fears.
It helps you in unpleasant situations at work, when you need to work and interact with unpleasant, people, demanding people, or people you do not like. It helps you carry out chores and tasks, which you want to avoid, but you must do. It helps you stay calm in noisy places, when people shout, and also in unpleasant environments. It helps you stay unruffled and in control of yourself in difficult or dangerous situations, and it gives you space and a feeling of freedom, wherever you are, and in every situation.
Emotional detachment is a positive attitude, which helps you avoid getting unnecessarily entangled with the emotions of others, and therefore, doing things you don’t want to do, saying things you don’t want to say, or reacting in an emotional manner that might cause you trouble later. It might seem strange to you, but it is not a state of being willfully cold or unpleasant. You are aware of other people’s feelings, but can decide not to be overwhelmed by them, keeping a calm mind, and choosing to act with common sense and inner strength, instead of letting emotions disturb your inner balance and harmony.
In my book, emotional detachment for a better life, I have endeavored to cover this subject, clarify and explain, and most importantly, to provide ways to develop this ability, “positive emotional detachment”.