By Remez Sasson
Every day, we meet all kinds of surprises and unexpected events. Most of them are of minor importance, but sometimes, they are major, or life shaking events of unpleasant nature, causing difficulties and problems.
Life is full of surprises and events that sometimes, shatter one’s daily routine. Some of them might be good and some of them not so good. Some are pleasant and others unpleasant.
Most people like to be in control of their lives, and therefore, are more at ease living the same kind life every day, following the same routine.
People feel safer in a familiar environment, doing the same things every day, without interruptions or changes in their daily.
How do you cope with surprises and unexpected events?
Do you become stressed?
Do you panic?
Do you get flustered?
Do you become angry?
There are people, who find it difficult to cope not only with negative experiences, but also with positive ones. For example:
- Your wife tells you in the morning that she bought tickets for a theater performance, due to take place in the evening. Though you have no plans for the evening, this comes as a surprise, shattering your routine.
- You want to make a cup of coffee, but discover that you ran out of coffee.
- When you arrive at the bus or train station in the morning, to go to work, you find out that the bus or train will be delayed.
These are simple situations. However, sometimes, there are other kinds of surprises and expected events, such as:
Arriving to the airport, you discovering that your flight is being delayed
- During an examination, discovering that you don’t know the answers.
- Discovering that there is a leak in the water pipes.
- Getting fired from your job.
- Sickness of somebody close to you.
- Losing money or possessions.
- Loss of someone you love.
These are just a few instances of surprises and unexpected events. Life is full of surprises and unexpected turns, and if this causes you anxiety and stress, and affects your mind, moods and behavior, you need to find a way to be less affected by them.
What can you actually do? Even if you plan things thoroughly, you might be taken by surprise.
Even if you live the same kind of life, doing the same habitual things day after day, there could be unexpected events. It is a good idea to be prepared for such events. The best way to handle these situations is to be prepared for them.
10 Tips for Dealing with Surprises and Unexpected Events:
Acknowledge the fact, and learn to accept that surprises and unexpected events are part of life and are unavoidable. When you accept this fact, to some extent, it will be easier to deal whatever happens in your life.Life is dynamic, not static. Change is part of life, and the sooner you acknowledge and accept this fact, the better it would be.
The key to everything is your attitude. A positive attitude is an asset in unexpected situations.Not all unexpected events are negative. Sometimes, what seems like a problem, or even a disaster, could be a blessing in disguise. A negative event can awaken ambition, motivation, and persistence, which would lead to progress and success.
Even getting fired from work, could eventually turn out well, as you might find a better and more satisfying job. A loss or failure can make you search for something better.
When making a plan, always have an alternate plan, in case the first plans fail. This would prevent you from falling into a state of helplessness, fear, and not knowing what to do next.
Wait for a few moments, before blurting out when confronting unexpected or unpleasant turns of fate. Before getting angry or panicking, look at what happened and assimilate the news. In many cases, this might something of minor importance that is easy to cope with. Maybe what happened is temporary, or something that can be easily fixed.
If what happened is irreversible, what good would you gain by becoming angry, stressed or panicked? You would gain nothing. Instead of getting flustered and confused, angry or feeling helpless, it would be much more useful to think constructively where you are going from there. You need to think how to adjust to the new situation and either fix it, improve it, or make the most of it.
Take the initiative, and introduce small changes into your life. Sometimes, in small and not important matters do things differently, without premeditating about them. This will help you cope more easily with surprises and events that are out of your control. In this way, you teach yourself to accept change. For example:
- Take a different route to your work in the morning.
- Eat a different breakfast.
- Drink tea in the morning, instead of coffee.
- Decide on the spur of the moment to go to a movie with your husband or friend.
- Do things that you usually do, but in a different way.
Always focus on the present moment, living it the best, learning from it the most you can, and taking advantages of new opportunities that come your way.All there is, is the present moment, therefore, make the most of it, instead of thinking about what you lost, thinking about the past, or dwelling on how bad the situation is. This approach is useless and is a waste of time.
A certain degree of emotional detachment is important. It helps you take a step back from problems, surprises and expected events, and therefore, to be less affected by them. This helps you stay calm and in control of yourself, and therefore, be in a better position to deal with whatever is happening in your life.
Attachment causes you to cling to the familiar, and makes you fear letting go. Too much attachment allows surprises and unpleasant events to have a greater negative effect on you.
Build a solid foundation of inner strength. A state of inner strength brings stability, and a better control of your mind and actions, so that you can cope with any situation. This you can do by training and strengthening your willpower and self-discipline, two of the main pillars of inner strength.
- Learn and practice meditation. Even just 10 minutes of meditation every day can make a great change in your life, making you feel, calm, relaxed, and unperturbed by the events in your life. A certain amount of inner peace is most welcome in every situation, and meditation is one of the foremost ways leading to inner peace.
The last three tips require some training in order to be able to use them. Since surprises, changes, and unexpected events are part of life, it would be most useful if you train yourself, and develop skills that would be of great help in facing unexpected situations.
When you are calm, possessing inner peace, emotional detachment and inner strength, external events lose their power over you. You stop getting agitated and losing your composure, when surprises enter your life, and also when you face unexpected situations.
If you are earnest in your desire to develop inner peace, emotional detachment and inner strength, and I am sure you are, I highly recommend that you read and study the books (PDF eBook format):
These books will help you, among other things, to develop the skill to become peaceful, calm and strong, and be able to cope with changes and surprises.