Look at the people around you, and you will discover that almost everyone seems to get emotionally involved with other people’s pains and problems. They get involved, and get affected, not only by close people, but also with the problems of strangers too.
Look, for example, at how parents feel in relation to their children. They get anxious and stressed by whatever happens to them at school and with friends. Sometimes, this goes too far, making the parents nervous, restless and tense. This is an unhealthy situation, draining their strength and energy, and preventing them from having a sound sleep at night.
We care not only about our children, but also about other family members, about friends, and about colleagues.
That’s okay, as long as you don’t cause yourself unnecessary emotional pain. Too much empathy does not help anyone and it does not help you.
Be caring, loving and helpful. It is possible to do so, without burdening yourself with other people’s feelings.
You might say that you need to sympathize and empathize. Yes, you are right, but only up to a certain point.
A certain amount of empathy is okay, but when it becomes exaggerated it causes unnecessary emotional pain and suffering.
You need to realize that everyone has his or her own life, with its ups and downs, and things he or she has to deal with in order to grow and get stronger. You don’t need to solve everyone’s problem. What makes you think that you can do it better than them?
Too much empathy does not help anyone, but it can make you unhappy and emotionally depleted. Helping others is a good thing to do, but taking their problems on your back is absolutely not necessary.
Imagine you see a friend of yours slipping and falling into a muddy puddle, what would you do, help him get out of the puddle, or jump after him into the puddle in order to sympathize with him?
Would it help, if both of you fall into the mud? Of course, it wouldn’t!
A certain amount of detachment always helps, and is not a sign of inconsideration.
A little detachment helps you be more practical and use common sense, and therefore, be of more help to others. It is a much more desirable situation than letting their ups and downs affect your moods and state of health.
There is no reason in the world why you should take anything too personally. There is no reason in the world to take responsibility for everything that happens to other people.
Love your family and friends, and help them whenever you can. However, there is no need to be affected by what they say, think or go through. This is a sheer waste of energy and time, which makes you suffer. Adopting this attitude does not mean that you become indifferent, uncaring and aloof. It is a totally practical attitude, and of greater help to the person with whom you empathize.
There are various ways to deal too much empathy. You can find these ways, together with guidance and advice in the book mentioned below:
A book that will show you how to develop emotional detachment and control too much unhealthy empathy. It will also help you maintain a state of calmness and self-control.
Read the book, and you will discover how to stop taking everything too personally, and getting upset by what people say and do.
About the Author
Remez Sasson is the founder of Success Consciousness. In his articles and books, he teaches about positive thinking and motivation, visualization, gaining inner strength and inner peace, achieving success, and about improving one’s life.