How to Overcome Self Destructive Behavior

Why do we do things that cause us harm?

We’re pretty rational beings.

We want to be happy and healthy.

We’re wired to live, survive and thrive.

We know better.

Yet we continue to overeat, smoke, drink excessively, shop compulsively and engage in a variety of other activities that are detrimental to our health and wellbeing.

Why?

The answer may surprise you.

The Development of Self Destructive Behavior

Internalization of a Negative Belief

Self destructive behavior typically starts with a negative belief about yourself. You aren’t happy with the way you look. You don’t think you’re intelligent enough. You don’t feel worthy of love.

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A New Book About the Power of Concentration

I am happy to announce that I have written a new book, titled, “How to Focus Your Mind”. The book will be published soon, and be available for sale through this website.

The book instructs, advises, and teaches how to strengthen the power of concentration, and contains exercises, and a wealth of useful information and tips.

The mind is a great tool, but it requires discipline. It is in a constant state of movement, just like a butterfly that flies from one flower to another, never standing still for more than a brief moment. If your mind wanders where it wills, and you cannot focus it on what you are doing, how can you complete a task or achieve a goal?

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Can you Focus Your Mind?

Can You Focus Your Mind?Hold a pencil in your hand, look at your watch to measure the time, and try to focus your full attention on the pencil. Look at it from all sides, trying to imprint its image on your mind.

The moment you discover that you lost your focus, look at your watch to measure the time.

How long can you focus on the pencil, before your attention or your eyes wander somewhere else? Can you measure the time in minutes, or just in a few seconds?

If you can measure the time in minutes, you are lucky, but if it is only seconds, you need to do something about your focus.

When you write a letter, read a book, or study for an examination, how many times do you stop, and either, think about unrelated subjects, or get up and do something else?

When learning a new skill, working, or doing anything else, do you focus on what you are doing, or does your mind wander to other things?

Are you absent minded in situations that require complete focus of mind?

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The Law Of Attraction: Can You Make It Work?

Swan Swimming

On many law of attraction forums and websites you’ll see questions about how to make the law of attraction work.

How can I attract more money?
Can I attract true love?

As a law of attraction coach, I feel a pang of frustration: I want to help all of those people at once because the answer is actually very simple. The problem with the answer is that its very simplicity makes people doubt it.

Before I tell you what that answer is, let us be clear about the nature of the problem. A little insight into human (i.e. your own), psychology can save you a great deal of trouble and soul-searching later on.

We are living in the age of the “quick fix.” As somebody pointed out not so long ago, most of our mothers and grandmothers would spend every Sunday preparing the family dinner. Now we live in a time where we stand in front of the microwave shouting, “Hurry up!”

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Underachiever

In 1999, my five-year-old nephew sat in the bleachers with my family members and attended my high-school graduation at a local college stadium. Last night, I attended my now 17-year-old nephew’s graduation at the same location.

I’m 31 now, and watching his graduation experience thirteen years later was surreal. As I’m sitting in the bleachers, I couldn’t help but think back to thirteen years ago when it was me walking the stage to receive my diploma.

I was excited for my nephew, but at the same time I was disappointed. I was disappointed in myself and my lack of success, both professionally and personally. I never knew exactly what I wanted to do when I graduated high school, but I knew I’d eventually figure it out and become successful in whatever it was that I chose to do. I figured I’d have a great job making lots of money, a big house, a nice car, a wife and one or two kids.

The only thing that came to fruition was me owning a car. I have friends whom I grew up with that are in great careers, married with kids, and are also proud homeowners. All of these thoughts of disappointment are going through my head as the PA announcer is saying each kids name.

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Are You an Optimist or Pessimist?

Optimist or Pessimist

Are you an optimist or pessimist?

Do you know what is the difference between an optimistic person and one that is pessimistic?

I have recently heard someone saying that he is a pessimistic person, and therefore, has no expectations, and so, he never gets disappointed. Do you also think so?

I would like to clarify an important point about optimism. It is not an attitude of just believing everything would be all right, and doing nothing about. It is not just a state of belief.

Optimism means expecting success, a favorable outcome, and that things would turn well, but real and useful optimism should work together with being practical, and looking actively solutions, instead of waiting passively for things to happen.

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Smile – 6 Top Reasons Why You Should Smile More Often

It takes a lot less muscles to smile than to frown or scowl.

Ever seen one of those poor souls who is perpetually miserable? Everything about them screams how lousy everything in their life is. We all know people like this. Gosh, if they ever smiled you’d expect their face to crack.

It actually takes a lot less muscles to smile than to frown or scowl, so apart from creating misery for themselves they are also doing more work to achieve that result. Here then are five more top reasons why you should smile more often.

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Don’t Allow People and Circumstances Control Your Life

Do you allow people and circumstances control your life, moods, and state of mind?

How do you feel, if your boss criticizes your work, or tells you something you don’t like?

How do you react, when a driver enters recklessly, and without signaling, into your lane, in front of your car?

In these and similar situations, do you, keep thinking about the incident? Do you get angry, unhappy or frustrated?

This happens to almost everybody, almost everyday. Just think, how many minutes, and often hours, you spend every day, dwelling on what this person said and that person did. If you take these incidents too personally you become unfocused and inefficient at work, at home, at everywhere else.

We let people and circumstances control our life, if we let them affect our moods and state of mind.

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Peace Comes From Within

Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without. – Buddha –

  • If you have more money, would you be more peaceful?
  • If you achieve your dreams, would you experience more peace?
  • Do you think that you enjoy a state of inner peace, only after you are financially secure?
  • Do you believe that inner peace is dependent on external circumstances?

If you believe so, think again.

Inner peace is not dependent on circumstances or external situations. Inner peace comes from within you.

Often, after achieving something, finishing something, or solving a problem, you experience a brief moment of peace, but soon forget it, embarking on the next project, goal, task or problem. This sense of inner peace is of short duration, and is unstable.

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