Too Much Empathy Does Not Help Anyone

Look at the people around you, and you will discover that almost everyone seems to get emotionally involved with other people’s pains and problems. They get involved, and get affected, not only by close people, but also with the problems of strangers too.

Look, for example, at how parents feel in relation to their children. They get anxious and stressed by whatever happens to them at school and with friends. Sometimes, this goes too far, making the parents nervous, restless and tense. This is an unhealthy situation, draining their strength and energy, and preventing them from having a sound sleep at night.

We care not only about our children, but also about other family members, about friends, and about colleagues.

That’s okay, as long as you don’t cause yourself unnecessary emotional pain. Too much empathy does not help anyone and it does not help you.

Be caring, loving and helpful. It is possible to do so, without burdening yourself with other people’s feelings.

You might say that you need to sympathize and empathize. Yes, you are right, but only up to a certain point.

A certain amount of empathy is okay, but when it becomes exaggerated it causes unnecessary emotional pain and suffering.

You need to realize that everyone has his or her own life, with its ups and downs, and things he or she has to deal with in order to grow and get stronger. You don’t need to solve everyone’s problem. What makes you think that you can do it better than them?

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How to Read Quotes and Benefit From Them

Open Book

I discovered that there are a lot of people who like to read quotes. I mean inspiring and enlightening quotes about different topics. People like to read quotes, because these are concise sentences, expressing wisdom, and awakening motivation, inspiration and happiness.

If you search for quotes on the Internet, you will find a lot of websites displaying quotes, and also many websites dedicated especially for quotes. I too, have included a section with quotes at my website, which you can find at the quotes directory. I am happy to say that these pages are viewed thousands of times every day, by people from all over the world.

There are two questions I would like to answer in this article:
1. Why people love to read quotes.
2. How to read quotes and benefit from them.

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A Vacation in Berlin, Germany

You might have wondered why I have not posted anything at the blog lately. The reason is that I have been away, on vacation.

I have spent a week in Berlin, Germany, with my wife and kids. We stayed in Abba hotel, at Lietzenburger Street, which is situated just 2 minutes walk from Kurfurstendamm, one of Berlin’s most famous streets, where you can find many shops and malls.

Berlin offers a lot of attractions for tourists, and one week is certainly not enough. There are many historical places, museums, parks, malls, beautiful streets, restaurants and coffee shops. You can find malls and shops in every city in the world, but it looks, as if in Berlin their number is greater, than in any other place. There are more expensive malls like KaDeWe and Galeria Kaufhof, or less expensive, like C&A. You can find in Berlin everything you want. It is a feast for people who love shopping.

It was more than just a trip to Berlin. It was a family vacation. You know how it is with adolescent children nowadays. They are busy with their friends, television, the computer and Facebook, and have no time for their parents. When you travel with them, it is a good time for bonding. They have no choice, but to be with their parents, talk, and spend time with them.

Brandenburg Gate

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Is It Necessary to Control Anger?

Angry Monkey

Is it necessary to control anger? The answer is no! Controlling anger is not the best option.

Confused? I will make this clearer.

When you are angry, and you try to control the anger, one or more things might happen:

You will bottle up your anger, which is very unhealthy.

You will fight your anger, which means that you will focus your attention on it, trying to restrain it. However, what you focus on grows, so that though you try to control your anger, you get the opposite result. Focus your attention on controlling anger leads to inner fight, more attention paid to the anger, and consequently, more anger and frustration.

Anger is best controlled indirectly.

There are several things that you can do to avoid getting angry, or if you get angry, not let the anger grow. I have provided a few simple tips in my articles, but they don’t focus directly on controlling the anger. These tips can help you calm down, and they can help you prevent anger from culminating. You can use them in the various situations you encounter in your day-to-day life.

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Do You Want to Improve the Quality of Your Life?

BooksDo you want to improve the quality of your life?

Most people have a desire to improve the quality of their life, earn more money, get a better job, have a good house, or find someone to love.

Some people get what they want, many others just dream about a better life, and a few try to do something about it. They read books, attend seminars, and participate in workshops and courses, with the hope that they will help them.

The question is, what are you doing with all the information you are collecting? Do you just finish one book and then start another, go to this course and that workshop? Do you hope that the next book, the next lecture or the next retreat would help you? Do you spend a lot of money on books, workshops and seminars, but stay in the same place?

Reading, and attending lectures and courses are great, provided they teach some real stuff, but without personal work and effort, nothing happens. You can read million of books, accumulate a lot of theoretical information and understanding, but your life won’t change.

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People Judge You Like They Do A Book, By The Cover

I’m sure that you’ve heard the old saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover”. However, according to book publishers, that is exactly what we do. Book publishers will tell you that your cover design is one of the most important decisions that you can make when creating a book.

The reason is that research has proven that when making a decision to purchase a book, most people spend about 3 seconds looking at the front cover and about 7 seconds looking at the back cover. Maybe they will flip through the book quickly; nevertheless, if they like the “look” of the book then they will buy it. Some may flip through the book to see of there is any content – but most don’t. They purchase the book based on its “look.”

Strangely enough, people do the same thing with you; they judge you by your “cover” – your image.

We all create an “image,” in people’s mind. That “image,” can often be quite different that we have of ourselves. Yet, other people’s image of us may be more correct. Yet, their image is more correct. Why? Because it is sometimes hard to see ourselves as we appear to others and that appearance is, usually, more aligned with the “true” you. (We are just “too close to the forest to see the trees.”)

For example, you may feel that you are a good person, a hard worker, and a good and trusted friend who is always fun to be around; however, others may see you as a person who is insecure, who gossips, and is whiny.

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