“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” – Buddha –
These words, said about 2500 years ago, are still valid today.
Whom do you punish when you are angry? You punish yourself.
Does anger help you in any way?
Does anger solve any problem?
Do you feel any better afterwards?
The obvious answer is, NO.
When you are angry, your emotions get agitated, your blood pressure goes up, you become impatient and irritable, and you lose control over your actions and reactions.
Anger hides common sense and reason, and makes you say and do things, which will only aggravate the situation.
Sometimes, you might get angry, because you interpret other people’s words and actions incorrectly. The person, who, allegedly, made you angry, might not be aware at all of what is going inside you.
If you let the anger grow, and hold it within you, you waste precious time and energy and harm your health. It is only you, who suffers, not the person whom you believe aroused your anger.
It is like the Buddha said, ‘you are holding a hot coal and burning your hand.’
It is not wise to hold your anger bottled within you. Venting it out might release it, but the consequences might not be so pleasant. It is much more desirable to not to create anger at all. If you got angry, do your best to get rid of it and not let it grow.
Not letting anger arise is not so easy, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t do something about it.
Here are a few simple tips to help you get rid of the hot coal called anger:
When you feel you are getting angry, take a few deep breaths, and then count up to ten, twenty is better, before reacting or saying something.
This tip is very simple, yet practical and effective.
When you find yourself getting angry, imagine the anger like a hot coal, burning in your hand. Then imagine yourself throwing it away, into the sea, where it cools down and harms no one.
Repeat over and again in your mind that anger will not help you in any situation.
It will not help you in a traffic jam, and it will not help if you missed your train. It will also not help you if woke up late in the morning, because your alarm clock didn’t ring. It is not worth getting angry over things you have no control of.
Choose to react calmly and peacefully in every situation. Try time and again, regardless of how many times you lose control and get angry.
- Don’t take anything too personally. It is not worth it. It only brings more anger, more stress, and more unhappiness.