By Ruth Purple
Most of us would like to believe that when a love affair ends, it was because of the other party. Well, this isn’t usually the case. Taking an insight on what you have contributed to the downfall of your love affair is the first step in saving your relationship. Keep in mind that blaming others will only aggravate the problem, but taking self- accountability is the first step on how to save your a relationship.
Here are some signs that you are ruining your relationship.
1. Being loud and aggressive when making a point.
Keep in mind that the louder you get in making a point, the more your partner can’t hear you.
When you make an effort to raise your voice, you tend to forget the words you are trying to send making the whole scenario more chaotic and off the course.
Raising your voice when making a point is ruining your relationship, because when you’re loud and aggressive, and when you and your partner are emotional, it’s hard to come up with a solution.
Another point why being loud in making a point is ruining your relationship is because whatever you say might be dismissed as too emotional, rather than a rational point.
Solution:
The first thing that you should do is be aware of your volume. Other couples send signals or give reminders when one partner is beginning to be loud. Others take a deep breath when the intensity of the discussion starts to become heavy, while others leave the room and cool- off and return when the temperament is all calm.
2. Being right all the time.
Believing that you are always right and the other party is always wrong is the worst mistake you can do. If you believe that you are always right and constantly corrects your partner, then you are ruining your relationship rather than helping it.
By making a divide of a “right and wrong party” in the union, you are creating a faction and is probably causing more bitterness in your partner.
Solution:
The next time you have the urge to say you are right, stop and count to ten. Then, slow down and focus on the situation and your partner’s feelings. Sometimes saying you are wrong, feels better than being right.
3. Holding on to the past.
Most women and some men have a great memory that can retain old mistakes and painful transgressions. But when you hold on to them, let them lead your togetherness and constantly brings them up, then you are surely ruining your relationship.
When you are holding on to the past, you are hindering your present relationship to improve and grow.
Constantly bringing up the past in your discussions divert you to the real solutions that can help improve your love life.
Solution:
When you feel like bringing up past incidents, stop and ask yourself if it’s relevant in the conversation.
Taking a moment to reflect can also help you decipher if holding on to the past is healthy for you and your relationship.
About the author
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth’s latest ebook on Finding Mr. Right. Discover how you can Find Your True Love here.
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