Life is a mirror. It reflects the way we look at it. The poem below looks at Life in different ways.

“If Life is a book,
Every effort is a page
And every achievement is a new chapter.
If Life is a school,
Every failure is a lesson to learn
And every hurdle is a problem to solve.
If Life is an exam,
It is evaluated by success and failures,
Success is rewarded
And failure needs a re-attempt.
If Life is a journey,
Every goal is a destination,
Every effort is a path
And every problem is a trouble on the way.”

Positive Thinking has the power to change Life the way we want.

-Shriram

my wife had breast cancer 5 years ago this Month. As much as she would like to believe she is over it, she isn't. Every ache or pain is a trigger for thinking the worse and until she gets medical proof there isn't an issue the problem just keeps going. With proof she moves on and I await the next crisis. I have said that she needs to think positively but this is easy for me to say and her to ignore. I would appreciate any help that will allow her to think in a positive way and not over react to every ailment she has.

The only way she can feel better is by looking at those with more severe problems than she has. For instance, look at the lives of those who are born with severe disabilities like mentally-retarded children and think how their life and that of their family will be. They will have to live with it for the rest of their lives. You can find a lot of inspirations by looking around.

Christopher Nolan was born with Cerebral Palsy and could move only his head and eyes. Due to the severity of his condition he was limited to a wheelchair. Using a special computer and keyboard, his mother helped him type, holding his head with her hand while he picked out each word, letter by letter with a pointer attached to his forehead. When he was young, his father told him stories to stimulate his mind. At the age of 11, he began to write many poems, stories and two plays, many of which were published. His first book was published when he was 15. He won the Whitbread Book Award for his autobiography. He also won the Honorary Doctorate of Letters in the UK, the medal of excellence from the United Nations Society of Writers and a Person of the Year award in Ireland.

You can see how they learn to live despite their problems. We can avoid negative thoughts by keeping our mind occupied in more productive activities. She can read motivating books.

(10-09-2010 12:30 PM)shriram Wrote:  Life is a mirror. It reflects the way you look at it. The poem below looks at Life in different ways.

“If Life is a book,
Every effort is a page
And every achievement is a new chapter.
If Life is to learn,
Every hurdle is a problem to solve
And every failure is a lesson to learn.
If Life is an exam,
It is evaluated by success and failures,
Success is rewarded,
And failure needs a re-attempt.
If Life is a journey,
Every goal is a destination,
Every effort is a path
And every problem is a trouble on the way.”

Positive Thinking has the power to change Life the way you want.

---

All so true, having difficulty with this reply working so want to check if it comes under your comments

---

Posotive thinking is so important and one should do so with an open mind, doing that always works for the best.

The solution to your problems lies somewhere deep within you. Think of problem solving as an interesting and exciting adventurous game where you need to fight battles to acquire the throne. Think of the pleasure you get after your problem is solved and not the pain you experience while striving towards your goal. First you must believe that every problem has a solution and start finding it. There may be many causes for a problem. If you fail, it only means that you have misunderstood the problem. Once you identify it, you will know how to prepare yourself to face the challenge. With courage and determination you can fight the battle and acquire the throne. The Internet is a huge network of information available for help anytime. Advancements in technology have made it possible for people across the world to connect, share information and also work in teams from wherever they are. There are many books available and many experienced people around the world whom you can ask. Such brainstorming can help in generating more ideas to solve problems. Self-confidence, hard work and openness to learning are the keys to one’s success.

(10-13-2010 11:30 AM)cliffy38 Wrote:  my wife had breast cancer 5 years ago this Month. As much as she would like to believe she is over it, she isn't. Every ache or pain is a trigger for thinking the worse and until she gets medical proof there isn't an issue the problem just keeps going. With proof she moves on and I await the next crisis. I have said that she needs to think positively but this is easy for me to say and her to ignore. I would appreciate any help that will allow her to think in a positive way and not over react to every ailment she has.

My heart goes out to her. Having breast cancer is tough, and being expected to think positively with all that pain is tougher. I guess she is scared and anxious about her condition. Is there any way to get her mind off her condition? Engage her in activities that will convey to her the message the life is worth living after all?

Involving ourselves in creative activities can help divert our mind from thinking negatively. There are many short and long term courses available in knitting, tailoring, gardening, painting, drawing, writing, singing, photo & videography, animation etc. By enrolling ourselves in such courses we also get to meet many people some of whom may have more severe problems than what we have. We can also engage ourselves in cultural activities like music concerts, dance shows, plays, social activities and do social service. By travelling, reading books, magazines & newspapers and becoming members in clubs we can keep our mind preoccupied. Even joining a personality development course will help in boosting our confidence and will power. The easy and best way to keep yourself mentally fit is to go to a park and take a nice walk or sit in your garden and breathe in some fresh air. When oxygen supply to our brain increases, they activate our brain cells and improve our thinking. We can also sharpen our brain by solving mind boggling puzzles like crosswords or Sudoku and playing games like chess & brain-vita. It is a nice time pass to have children around. If possible your wife can work in a preschool or run a nursery. Above all she needs someone to share her feelings. Always tell that you understand her feelings and show your presence for her. It takes time to overcome negative thoughts and develop a positive attitude. Though it is a natural process, which cannot be forced, it requires some effort from our side too.

Hi,

Quote: my wife had breast cancer 5 years ago this Month. As much as she would like to believe she is over it, she isn't. Every ache or pain is a trigger for thinking the worse and until she gets medical proof there isn't an issue the problem just keeps going. With proof she moves on and I await the next crisis. I have said that she needs to think positively but this is easy for me to say and her to ignore. I would appreciate any help that will allow her to think in a positive way and not over react to every ailment she has.

After registering here, I read a post which was about Wallace D.Wattles book named: "The Science of Getting Rich". I really enjoyed reading this book and I was so amazed by what was written in that book. Then I started to search for other books by this intelligent author, and I found this book:
"The Science of Being Well"
You can download this book and give it to your wife it really helps her in positive thinking about health.

I appreciate your concern about your wife.

Hugs,

---

I remember one day that I was listening to the radio, there was a piece of news. The scientists discovered that when you smile, you can't think negatively. Their suggestion was smiling always to prevent negative thoughts. For almost one week I tried it and it worked, while I was smiling I couldn't think of anything negatively.
At that time my father had cancer as well.

Hugs,

This is no easy task to change the nature of a person. Some people worry, some people live life by the day, some people think about things to no end, while others just do things without a care in the world.

I believe that the key to working with people is to understand where they come from, and look at ways to work with them from this point forward. Sometimes its so easy to get trapped in a certain frame of mind, especially with one that you have loved for many years and the ways are already written fairly solidly in stone.

I think that having gone through something like Breast Cancer and survived should be rejoiced. After going through something like this, priorities in life are drastically changed, and no doubt some form of paranoia can strike the inflicted; constantly worrying about a recurrence. I, myself, would be horribly afraid of it happening again, and would learn from my lessons and experiences from listening to my body, learning how to recognize what has so stricken me previously.

If I could give you any advice, Cliffy, about your wife, I think that the only thing you can do is support her as a person, and be sensitive to her concerns, she has now different priorities than what she had prior to cancer. Of course trying to be positive about a situation is always essential for health, for everybodies health, and focusing on things that will bring back enjoyment into the world will definitely help revive this positivity. Keep in mind though, that some of her priorities have changed, and so might have some of the things that she once enjoyed. The key is to grow with her, not in-spite of her and not within your own mind for her, for it is her that you should focus on.

These are only some ideas, but I think if I can stress any point, its that she will need to find her own comfort zone in order to get a base for where she can then grow from. Help her find that zone. Everybody needs that zone to build from.

I've written a quick article on positivity here you may be interested in: http://exerciseandmind.com/content/positivity

Good Luck! Change starts with your mind.

Everyone has problems. Some can be solved but others need to be accepted and learnt to live with. Many artists, who have no hands to hold a brush, use their feet and mouth to paint. Some of them have even lost their hands in accidents but not given up their passion. When we say one who is born has to die, why can't we think one who is born has to live. Like time, life once gone cannot be retrieved. Live for this moment. Live for Today. Do not think about the past nor worry about the future. Take care while you live but do not forget to live. Breast cancer can be treated and cured in early stages. I know people who lead normal lives after the affected organ has been removed.

Positive thinking is a mental attitude that admits into the mind thoughts, words and images that are conductive to growth, expansion and success. It is a mental attitude that expects good and favorable results. A positive mind anticipates happiness, joy, health and a successful outcome of every situation and action. Whatever the mind expects, it finds.



im bored

Positive thinking can be a little tricky. There is the "fake it til you make it" aspect where the more often you stay in a positive frame of mind, the more likely you are to achieve a real positive state, naturally. But if you do not address your root core issues that bring negativity to the fore whenever there are unusual circumstances, you are really just acting. Not being.

Being positive, meaning to the core, for real and deep down positive--no matter what happens-- is difficult and can only happen when you begin to address the real demon: fear.

If you allow fear to have a place in your life--small or dominant--your positivity is somewhat of a costume. Better than a negative one, but still a kind of shell.

Begin to tackle fear and you won't have to fake it.

Jennifer

To survive in this competitive world we need to think clearly, take right decisions and be able to prove ourselves. We can do so only if we are confident about the subject in consideration. Pessimism obstructs both the clarity in our thinking and the flow of ideas within us. If we hesitate to progress, somebody else will take the opportunity and we will be the loser. Optimism and determination are the keys to success. In today's world, there are chances of being plagiarized or defeated by foul play. Hence, there is a need to build up our courage and face the world with confidence. Moreover, a pessimistic mind starts worrying about petty things, which leads to other health related issues.

In my view positive thinking is the best cure for self improvement. In this way you may be successful not only in business but also in your studies and social activities . Positive thinking can make you best among the others . Moreover,you may the winner . positive thinking is the key to win the hearts of people too .

Success is the bright sun hidden by the dark clouds of critics causing a downpour in the eyes of the pessimist. Optimism opens the door into a bright and evergreen future. Failures are lessons to learn. Determination fuels the journey towards our goal.

- Shriram