I know for myself it comes to actually following through with the todo list and some basic goals. While I found many ways that make this easier to deal with. I'm curious what are some problems you have?

My biggest problem "lies" in the belief that there are such things as problems.

(03-05-2011 06:06 AM)Venus777 Wrote:  My biggest problem "lies" in the belief that there are such things as problems.

I enjoy a good laugh

Instead of entering a battle of words. I believe the surface question is pretty much aimed at, what seems to stop,prevent, or hold you back in life?

The idea here is to start a conversation, and have people join in and contrast the different drawbacks people have in life. While I do understand that for myself I'm not perfect, and I assume maybe other people in life have "problems" that stand in their way as well.

So for yourself what do you feel is your biggest problem?
lol

I was being completely sincere, Tropiclogic! Glad you can laugh at my pain (which centers mainly in my buttocks area) Hahaha! I find it fascinating that you took my comment to be a throwing down of the gauntlet.

My mind, which makes up problems, IS my only problem. In this moment, I really feel appreciation for every bit of my life. Any time, no matter what time it is, that I focus on this here and this now, I feel problem-less. When I begin to focus on what I don't have or what might happen down the road, that is when I get into trouble.

May I ask you a question? What is it about focusing on "problems" that seems to interest you so much? I sincerely want to know.

I notice you did not mention particulars on problems that stand in your way. What do you feel is your biggest problem?

I really am interested in this dialogue of which you say you are wanting. Perhaps if you share your story, it will spark a wonderful conversation.

Nice to meet you, by the way!

(03-05-2011 02:03 PM)Venus777 Wrote:  Glad you can laugh at my pain (which centers mainly in my buttocks area)

I'm a bit confused at this comment, do you mean to imply that I'm laughing at some "pain" you seem to have in your "buttocks" ? (which until now I would have no way of knowing, so there must be no way that I was actually laughing at that pain)

Moreover am I correct to say that the pain you seem to bring up now is one which you find to be your "mind" ?

Quote:May I ask you a question? What is it about focusing on "problems" that seems to interest you so much? I sincerely want to know.

I don't mind you asking any question, and my interest in knowing people's "problems" is to work in finding a doorway to that person's life. I believe a strong desire and passion of mine is to help people find ways into a new lifestyle and mindset of thinking. Often it's the way we look at things that is the only problem, but you do seem to understand this already.

Quote:I notice you did not mention particulars on problems that stand in your way. What do you feel is your biggest problem?

Right now my biggest "problem" is having people open up and simply answer the questions I lay before them, but that isn't really a problem. It's more of a challenge to myself to find a way through the silence.

It is nice to meet you as well, my name is Bryan Irwin, and I'm sure in time what I'm after will be clear to everyone.

So to broaden this first question and aim it more at you as a "person" one who I'm sure it not above personal issues in life.
Why do you feel your "mind" is your problem?

Bryan, the "laughing at my pain" comment was a joke. We clearly have different senses of humor, which is good, as life would be so boring if we were all alike.

I did answer your question. When I believe I have a problem I cause myself to suffer emotionally. It's that simple. It does not matter what specific thoughts I have or what circumstances I am in that cause me to "go there", the practice is the same in all situations. Watch the thoughts and feel the emotions, then feel and express all the appreciation I have for my life...period.

It is a practice that is working wonderfully for me. I have tried all the "resistance" based practices. Positive affirmations are fine but I have found that they are a resistance to the present...to "what is". I'm not interested in changing anything. I am interested in integrating both the "light" and the "dark" aspects of the me that already exist and to see through the illusion of beliefs I hold regarding those aspects. Don't know if I am expressing myself very well with this, but there it is...

---

In your initial post you wrote that your biggest problem is following through with your to do list and some basic goals. See, that is situational and not the root "problem". I am interested in pulling the roots, not just dead heading. Is that helpful in understanding "where I'm at"?

For me, if following through with my to do list was a frustration and causing me some discomfort, I would sit with that feeling and that thought. Soon, questions would come up. "Why do you feel you have to complete your to do list?" I might ask myself. "Where did this belief come from that everything I start, I must finish?" "Could it be that my to do list is based on something that is really not that interesting or inspiring"? "Do I have a belief that no matter what I do, it won't be good enough, so why try to finish it?" After each question, I wait a "hit". That solid feeling of knowing what is true and what is not. Once the feeling of truth is felt, it usually leads to a great epiphany about some erroneous belief I have held onto since childhood or what ever and the release or dissolving of the belief is a natural by product of that awareness.

It's amazing how the inner knowing will just pop in with those epiphanies if we can sit quietly and not resist what is coming up. At least that is what is working for me at this time.

(03-06-2011 02:23 PM)Venus777 Wrote:  Bryan, the "laughing at my pain" comment was a joke. We clearly have different senses of humor, which is good, as life would be so boring if we were all alike.

I did answer your question. When I believe I have a problem I cause myself to suffer emotionally. It's that simple. It does not matter what specific thoughts I have or what circumstances I am in that cause me to "go there", the practice is the same in all situations. Watch the thoughts and feel the emotions, then feel and express all the appreciation I have for my life...period.

It is a practice that is working wonderfully for me. I have tried all the "resistance" based practices. Positive affirmations are fine but I have found that they are a resistance to the present...to "what is". I'm not interested in changing anything. I am interested in integrating both the "light" and the "dark" aspects of the me that already exist and to see through the illusion of beliefs I hold regarding those aspects. Don't know if I am expressing myself very well with this, but there it is...

---

In your initial post you wrote that your biggest problem is following through with your to do list and some basic goals. See, that is situational and not the root "problem". I am interested in pulling the roots, not just dead heading. Is that helpful in understanding "where I'm at"?

For me, if following through with my to do list was a frustration and causing me some discomfort, I would sit with that feeling and that thought. Soon, questions would come up. "Why do you feel you have to complete your to do list?" I might ask myself. "Where did this belief come from that everything I start, I must finish?" "Could it be that my to do list is based on something that is really not that interesting or inspiring"? "Do I have a belief that no matter what I do, it won't be good enough, so why try to finish it?" After each question, I wait a "hit". That solid feeling of knowing what is true and what is not. Once the feeling of truth is felt, it usually leads to a great epiphany about some erroneous belief I have held onto since childhood or what ever and the release or dissolving of the belief is a natural by product of that awareness.

It's amazing how the inner knowing will just pop in with those epiphanies if we can sit quietly and not resist what is coming up. At least that is what is working for me at this time.

In looking deep into your post, I wonder why did you post to this threat at all?
You seem to have a "masterful" handle on where your life is, and the problems you "don't" have. Not that I mind a delightful conversation with someone as yourself, but what is your motive here?

To teach is to learn. I am sharing what my experience is, since you made the request. I find it fascinating that you "accidentally" wrote "threat" instead of "thread"..makes me wonder about your motive for wanting this information from people. Mirror mirror on the wall....

I do notice that you have not answered any of my queries. Very interesting...

What is it you are wanting to achieve here? No one else has posted here and yet you seem unsatisfied with what I have shared. Were you hoping that I needed some of your help? What is it you are needing?

Thank you for being as direct as I have been in this forum, and I'll attempt to address everything that you spoke on. (As I believe I have been all along)

Quote: I find it fascinating that you "accidentally" wrote "threat" instead of "thread"..makes me wonder about your motive for wanting this information from people.

Well, I’m not sure if you can see how often I edit my posts after having posted them, but because spelling is something I’ve never been a master at, I sometimes miss in the correction of every word I use. I guess this is where it goes back to that old saying in “you can understand what’s being said by the context.” And so you are correct in your statement of “you "accidentally" wrote "threat" instead of "thread”.

The main purpose of me being in this forum, and requesting the "problems" that people have. Is simply to better understand people who congregate in a "success" forum, second, it's to understand just how I can be of service to the "needs" people claim to have. I'm a type of problem solver if you may, and I hope this answers your question. Do you feel there is evil in these motives?

Quote:I do notice that you have not answered any of my queries. Very interesting...

I do love that you used the word "any" as I believe I have addressed every one which you raised, (and you can correct me If I'm wrong.)

Until now I believe the only questions you asked are these
1.

Quote:May I ask you a question? (this is your first question)

To which I replied, "I don't mind you asking any question,”
2.

Quote:What is it about focusing on "problems" that seems to interest you so much? (2nd question)

Now this I believed is answered on two levels in saying “my interest in knowing people's "problems" is to work in finding a doorway to that person's life.” One, it’s addressing the issue of why I’m here and focusing on the problems of people, and two, if you substitute the word “people’s” for “any” I answered the main question, when I said “ to work in finding a doorway to that person's life”…and ”find ways into a new lifestyle and mindset of thinking.”
3.

Quote:What do you feel is your biggest problem? (question 3)

I answered this in saying “Right now my biggest "problem" is having people open up and simply answer the questions I lay before them, but that isn't really a problem. It's more of a challenge to myself to find a way through the silence.”

Quote:What is it you are wanting to achieve here? )

I thought this has been answered indirectly, but I’ll attempt to be as direct as my first question was. To understand further the needs of people through questioning and reason, moreover to bring pleasure where there is pain.

Quote:No one else has posted here and yet you seem unsatisfied with what I have shared.

You’re correct to sense that I’m “unsatisfied”, but that is only because no one else has posted here.

Quote:Were you hoping that I needed some of your help?

I was in hopes that whoever posted here “actually” had a problem.

Quote:What is it you are needing?

Well the word “need” isn’t something I would have here, more of a desire or a wanting, but not a “need”. And that I’ve already given light to.
I think I’ve addressed all your questions again, and as always it is a delight to have a conversation with a mind of interest.

My question then to all of your answers is, Why? Why do you want to focus on other people's problems when you have admitted to two that you are experiencing right now? Why not work on your stuff before attempting to "help" others. No offense, but there are a lot of folks with good intentions who are doing more damage than good because they have not dealt with their own "problems". There really didn't seem to be anything the least bit revealing about you in what you wrote, more just what you want to do for others. That doesn't seem all that open to me. Of course, this is all just my perception and means nothing to anyone but me unless it resonates with someone who reads this. Did you post another thread about writing a book and wanting people's stories for it, or am I way off? I must confess I am too lazy right now to go through your posts. It is wonderful that you want to help people, and in a town of blind people the one-eyed man is king, I just am not sure I sense a sincerity in your reasons for wanting to know about other people's problems. It is pure ego on my part that I feel an interest in confronting you in this, and so forgive me if I have misjudged you. There are a ton of salesmen out there and I think most people are on guard against exposing themselves to another self-proclaimed guru. I have been very appreciative that the slick ones came in and out of my circle of influence quickly and with no harm done. I have seen others go through some real pain when finding out that the person who claimed they could help was more messed up than they were. If you have an interest in clarifying your real intentions, not just the "pitch" then it would be welcomed, otherwise please just disregard my comments and know that I wish you all that you deserve.

P.S>Perhaps if you were to elaborate on your expertise in the area of helping people with their issues. There hasn't been any mention from you about what your qualifications are. What is your background? What is your education? What is your philosophy regarding "problem" management. Why should people open up to you? Why would they want your help? After revealing these things, you might find people more interested in posting here. JMO

Quote:My question then to all of your answers is, Why? Why do you want to focus on other people's problems when you have admitted to two that you are experiencing right now?

The answer to this is simple. I think it sucks to have something in your life that holds you back, regardless of what it is. And for myself many times when I faced something that stood in my way, I often wished I had someone there who could give me advice or show me a different perspective as to a better way around it. Sound too simple? The assumption that I need to reveal a large depth of myself is one I wouldn’t dare take. I in no way refuse to answer your questions; you simply need to ask the right ones
I don’t go around talking about myself unless people actually ask direct questions. If you ask a question, (in which I feel is broad) I’ll answer it that way.

Quote:Why not work on your stuff before attempting to "help" others.

The assumption is that I haven’t been working on and succeeding at my own “stuff”, which is also an error.

Quote:Did you post another thread about writing a book and wanting people's stories for it, or am I way off?

I think you’re close, but not about the stories or book part. I’ve seen one person like that on another forum and I asked him a few questions about his project. My idea and purpose here isn’t to sell some silly book, but to actually find out the needs of people then bring answers to those same people. In whatever form makes sense, and what I mean here is if you have a question and I know who has the answer, I’ll bring you that answer. Why question me further on this? Or do you have something to hide yourself?

Quote:I just am not sure I sense a sincerity in your reasons for wanting to know about other people's problems.

I don’t really know how to answer this question because I’ve been straight forward with you in my answers. I think the questions aren’t aimed direct enough maybe.

Quote:It is pure ego on my part that I feel an interest in confronting you in this, and so forgive me if I have misjudged you.

There’s no need for me to forgive you of anything, and I don’t blame you for rejecting the thought that someone could purely come in and actually care about people enough to spend his time by asking simple questions. And carrying on a conversation in a forum, the real picture is, if I didn’t care I wouldn’t lift a finger to help someone. I wouldn’t waste an ounce of my time to even look in their direction. In fact there are thousands of other things I could be doing with my time instead of being here on a forum having this conversation with you. So to question my motives is pretty rude. This reminds me of that old saying where, “you can take a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink”
This conversation is like asking if the water is really real, or if my motives for bringing you to that water are pure. Why do you think I asked the question at the start? The purpose is to understand people like you and me who may in fact have problems in life. And from that point see how I can help. If I can’t help I won’t claim that I can, but if people remain in silence their problems will remain.

Quote:There are a ton of salesmen out there and I think most people are on guard against exposing themselves to another self-proclaimed guru.

Have I ever said I was this?

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Quote:P.S>Perhaps if you were to elaborate on your expertise in the area of helping people with their issues. There hasn't been any mention from you about what your qualifications are.
What is your background?
What is your education?
What is your philosophy regarding "problem" management.
Why should people open up to you?
Why would they want your help?

In what way have I claimed to be an expert? Because I simply want to understand people more, does this mean I need some sort of credentials? If I’m able to bring real results in my own life, why on earth do you feel the only people in life who can actually help must have gone to school for it ?
Did Tony Robbins do this? Or did he simply go out, find people in need, and help them get results?
I think the tone of your response is one of doubt, fear and skepticism. If a person is in that mental state, how can he/she be thinking clearly at all?
Instead of trying to uncover who I am, why not spend that time by asking questions which reveal more of who I am through a natural conversation that would emerge through talking about life experiences. You learn more about someone by hearing them talk instead of asking them point by point questions.

I started this conversation with a question, but the momentum of it progresses by the contribution of each person’s unique way and view. Your first response seemed to be one that “mocked” the idea that someone could actually have a problem in life. When simply put the question was aimed at a person who would be going through issues in life and wanted to talk about them. Instead of that being felt by your contribution, there was a sense of “I’m better than you all, and problems only exist if you believe they do” mindset. Which in truth is not really a person who should be posting to a forum post as this, moreover I ask the question, what do you do in a post that has only mockers speak in it?

Now, if this was not your intent then I’m open to hear it, but to be further attacked as to my motives in why I posted here is done with. If someone actually wanted to get to know me they could, I’m not a closed book, but one whose pages are dense with ideas, and often misunderstood in my attempt to reveal.

You have answered all of my questions and shown exactly that which I'd hoped you would. Thank you and enjoy doing whatever it is you are trying to do.

Oh and just FYI, understanding people and "helping" them are two completely different camels.

My biggest problem is getting the work done on my site...what do you think I could add?

Pusitiboo.com

I think its my pride, sometimes I felt hard to handle it, but I did my best to overcome this weakness.

My major problem is not knowing what I want to do with the rest of my life. I've never known what I really wanted. I dont have a major passion in my life, beyond my bass guitar. I am a mom with grown kids, I should know what I want by now, but I dont. I feel like I'm floundering. That's why I have joined this forum.