I was wondering what everyone's biggest obstacles are when they are trying to get more self-reliance or act confident.

What keeps you from being confident and what is stopping you from acting confident or trying to improve your assurance level?

Thank You
Christopher Duncan
www.christopherduncan.biz

Confidence is very important for a person who wants to achieve success in life. A confident person can easily overcome the hurdles in life. Confidence can be developed by believing in yourself and believing in what you do.


Whether you think you can or think you can't - you are right. ~Henry Ford


I quit being afraid when my first venture failed and the sky didn't fall down. ~Allen H. Neuharth


If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot paint," then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced. ~Vincent Van Gogh


http://www.lifemodification.com/LM1/Conf...ecrets.htm Check it out!

(03-17-2010 05:35 PM)marilynthompson Wrote:  I was wondering what everyone's biggest obstacles are when they are trying to get more self-reliance or act confident.

What keeps you from being confident and what is stopping you from acting confident or trying to improve your assurance level?

Thank You
Christopher Duncan
www.christopherduncan.biz

Hello Christopher,
The biggest obstacle that people face when they try to get more self-reliance or act confident, is moving past the negative responses and limiting beliefs that they have. We have been programmed from birth and every thought that we have is followed by an emotion or feeling about that thought. It is us that gets in our own way. We sabatage ourselves without even realizing it. The greatest emotion that we experience is fear. The fear that we aren't good enough or the fear that we can't do something. When I began to trust myself instead of always doubting myself, I was able to isolate that fear and therefore became more confident. If you don't feel confident then you will be unable to act confident.
Hope this helps.

Confidence and success go side by side. No confidence, no success. In order to get a successful and happy life, one should try to build self-confidence. Self-confidence means believing in oneself and bravely facing all the hurdles that obstruct your way to a successful life.

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~Eleanor Roosevelt


It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. ~Sally Field


Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance. ~Author Unknown


Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie
Which we ascribe to heaven.
~William Shakespeare, All's Well That Ends Well


A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her. ~David Brinkley


It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not. ~Author Unknown

Be confident!

http://www.lifemodification.com/LM1/Conf...crets.html

The biggest obstacle for me is self esteem issues. For example, I applied for teacher's college for 2010. I did not get in, however, the final decisions are not yet made. I was advised to call each school and ask where I stand, if I made the waiting list at all. It sounds simple, right? For me, the thought of doing it makes me anxious and nervous and I worry how the other person will perceive me, if my voice will come across as confident on the phone, if they will perceive me as bothering them when they are so busy anyway.

I always worry what other people think of me. The irony is that the more I worry how I come across to others, the more I actually do look silly. I get nervous. The funny thing is that I have an honours degree in communication studies. However, after having my son and being a stay at home mom for two years, I feel I have lost my communication skills to some degree. I am afraid sometimes to leave the our apartment. In social gatherings, I need to look at my husband for reassurance when talking to others, or I feel insecure. Basically, fear causes a lot of my low self esteem issues, feeling like nothing I do is good enough and who would want me. I need to overcome my negative thinking. Sounds easy, right? It is the hardest thing I struggle with on a daily basis. Sometimes, I can hide it, but most of the time people can see through me. I would love some advice or a good shake about two or three times a day.

My biggest obstacle in trying to gain more self reliance and confidence is that I sustain too many self limiting beliefs that were inscribed in my brain from early on in life. I am doing much better now, but I still find that not believing in myself causes me more difficulties than to just go for it and believe. With this in mind, I am now truly motivated to jump past the boundries that have been holding me back and to take advantage of all my blessings in life. I am 38 and have never been married, was a primary caregiver for ten years and just am beginning my life as an individual. It can be rough starting from scratch or so it seems, but I find those self limiting thought patterns to be the hardest to get over. Believing in love is my strongest passion and it is what pushes me forward each and every time I strive to do my best. Thank you to everyone who bothered to read this!

(04-08-2010 01:38 PM)Bonsailight Wrote:  My biggest obstacle in trying to gain more self reliance and confidence is that I sustain too many self limiting beliefs that were inscribed in my brain from early on in life. I am doing much better now, but I still find that not believing in myself causes me more difficulties than to just go for it and believe. With this in mind, I am now truly motivated to jump past the boundries that have been holding me back and to take advantage of all my blessings in life. I am 38 and have never been married, was a primary caregiver for ten years and just am beginning my life as an individual. It can be rough starting from scratch or so it seems, but I find those self limiting thought patterns to be the hardest to get over. Believing in love is my strongest passion and it is what pushes me forward each and every time I strive to do my best. Thank you to everyone who bothered to read this!

I loved reading what you wrote and it is an inspiration. Knowing that there is someone out there who has had the same difficulties overcoming obstacles as I have and getting past those obstacles really helps motivate me. Thank you.

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(04-06-2010 03:42 PM)tleigh Wrote:  The biggest obstacle for me is self esteem issues. For example, I applied for teacher's college for 2010. I did not get in, however, the final decisions are not yet made. I was advised to call each school and ask where I stand, if I made the waiting list at all. It sounds simple, right? For me, the thought of doing it makes me anxious and nervous and I worry how the other person will perceive me, if my voice will come across as confident on the phone, if they will perceive me as bothering them when they are so busy anyway.

I always worry what other people think of me. The irony is that the more I worry how I come across to others, the more I actually do look silly. I get nervous. The funny thing is that I have an honours degree in communication studies. However, after having my son and being a stay at home mom for two years, I feel I have lost my communication skills to some degree. I am afraid sometimes to leave the our apartment. In social gatherings, I need to look at my husband for reassurance when talking to others, or I feel insecure. Basically, fear causes a lot of my low self esteem issues, feeling like nothing I do is good enough and who would want me. I need to overcome my negative thinking. Sounds easy, right? It is the hardest thing I struggle with on a daily basis. Sometimes, I can hide it, but most of the time people can see through me. I would love some advice or a good shake about two or three times a day.

I would never shake you, but does it help to know that you are not alone in your feelings? When I was reading what you wrote, it was like I wrote it myself. I'm suffering with the same obstacle of fearing what others think of me. It keeps me from expressing my feelings, trying new things, and sometimes things as simple as asking for directions. I know it sounds silly, but it is so hard to get over these negative thoughts. I've read about using daily affirmations and writing down and saying aloud how you would like your life to be. I'm going to start trying it and I will let you know if it helps. Just remember, you are not alone in this mindset. There are others who think and feel just as we do.

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(03-17-2010 05:35 PM)marilynthompson Wrote:  I was wondering what everyone's biggest obstacles are when they are trying to get more self-reliance or act confident.

What keeps you from being confident and what is stopping you from acting confident or trying to improve your assurance level?

Thank You
Christopher Duncan
www.christopherduncan.biz

My biggest obstacle is not being able to push away negative thoughts. I try everything suggested to push away negative thoughts and only let in positive ones, but the negative thoughts always come back. I'm in a bad situation right now that I can't really do anything about. I try to think of things I am grateful and lucky to have, but the significance of those lucky things seem to diminish when the negative thoughts flood my mind. And then all I can do is concentrate and dwell on those negative thoughts.

It’s definitely rising above other people’s negative reaction to your success. We don’t all progress at the same rate, even people in a group progress at different rates. We should congratulate ourselves on our own progress. Once we realise we need no ones approval but our own then we know we are on the right track.

Long before I became a self improvement coach, I always struggle with insecurity and low self esteem especially when dealing with naysayers and critics. I often used to compare myself with others.

That's why when I became a self improvement coach, my maiden ebook is about how to have a high self esteem and live the best life you have, entitled Fabulous Self Esteem on how to combat low self esteem, insecurity, inferiority complex, etc.

For me confidence is a feeling of trust between myself and the people around me. Whenever there is an imbalance of trust between myself and people around me I face the crisis of low confidence.To overcome this crisis I redefine myself again and again until the balance of trust reestablish.It is like forgetting and remembering your own true nature.

Years ago, I used to strengthen my self-confidence by visualizing myself being in situations that required self confidence, and in my mind I saw myself behaving and acting with self confidence. Every time I actually was in these situations, I remembered my visualization, and tried to act in the manner I visualized myself acting. I used to visualize again and again, in order to remember how to act when I needed self confidence, and also to affect the subconscious mind, so that self confidence turns into a habit.

This is a great topic. One of the challenges I find as I begin to improve my confidence is comparing myself to others. This is a killer to me. I don't just compare myself to the people above me...I also compare myself to people below me. Does that make any sense? No.

Sometimes I get wrapped up in look those that don't have much and think they look so happy. My mind says, "I should stop working so hard at improving myself and just be happy." This of course is foolish because it's not real. It's a perceived notion that gets stuck in my head with no truth to it. It an excuse to give up that creeps in to throw me off.

One of the tips I use to combat this I work to compare myself to myself. Look at my progress from year to year, month to month, day to day and work to enhance what's working and rethink what's not.

This quickly shifts my thinking to a more productive path and revs up my engine.

Yes, my biggest obstacle to feeling confidence is, like others have said, limiting beliefs. And the biggest challenge to limiting beliefs is discovering what they are.

Beliefs are actually habitual conscious thoughts, but since they are so familiar, we don't notice them. And they are super powerful in shaping our expectations and our life experience.

Emotional Freedom Techniques, the method I use and teach, is great at helping change the limiting beliefs. You just have to be a vigilant detective, listening to what you think and say, to detect what your beliefs are.

Natalie Hill

(03-17-2010 05:35 PM)marilynthompson Wrote:  I was wondering what everyone's biggest obstacles are when they are trying to get more self-reliance or act confident.

What keeps you from being confident and what is stopping you from acting confident or trying to improve your assurance level?

Thank You
Christopher Duncan
www.christopherduncan.biz

My biggest problem, I realized, after reading and practicing some of the concepts that I found here, is that when I experience weakness in my character or make stupid mistakes (things that I'm sure we all do), I feel that I don't deserve this peace of mind and happiness from within. I really think this is my biggest hurdle. Any suggestions in beating this is welcome.

hi sir,how are you…
my problem :- i always use to make time table before opening a book but i cant able to finish it on time
In school days(3rdto8th) i was not willing to concentrate on studies . But after 8th i use to study but by basics are not clear so i always use to get not more 65 percent and so on so what can i do…?

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