What is Anger and How to Overcome It
By Remez Sasson
Anger comes out as a response to feelings of dissatisfaction, frustration and unhappiness, which usually arise when we dislike a person, an object or a situation.
It usually appears when we are unable to fulfill our wishes and desires, or when we are forced to do something we dislike doing or we would better avoid. In such situations, the mind reacts by feeling unhappy and stressed, which leads to anger.
Day-to-day life confronts us with many situations, which can produce anger:
- Your partner, children or friends, often, say or do things taht you do not like.
- You might run out of coffee for your morning coffee.
- You could arrive late to the station, and find that the bus or train has already left.
- You might need to talk to someone, whom you don't like.
- Your plans might not turn out as you wish they would.
All these, and other similar situations, can cause anger. The question is, do we have to react automatically or can we change our reactions and avoid anger?
Anger is a most negative reaction, and should be avoided as much as possible, if you wish to progress on the path of self improvement. You cannot avoid all the situations that cause anger, however, with some training you can learn to control and change your reactions and attitude. You can teach yourself not to get angry.
You need to be aware of the situations that could lead to anger, and be alert enough when you experience them. Do you want to react automatically, like a robot, or do you want to act consciously and control your reactions? You can overcome anger, but this requires some inner work.
1. When you feel uncomfortable and unhappy, stop what you are doing and visualize some pleasant mental scene from the past. Think of something that made you happy.
2. When you feel that you are getting angry, breathe deeply about 5 deep times. This will delay the anger and calm you down.
3. Count slowly from one to ten. This will delay your angry reaction and weaken it.
4. During your spare time, think about what anger leads to, and how worthwhile it is to avoid it.
5. Drink some water. This has a calming effect on the body.
6. Learn to develop some patience. Take simple tasks and do them slowly. This will develop patience.
7. One of the best remedies to anger is detachment. When you are emotionally and mentally detached, you cannot get angry.
8. The best way to avoid anger is to develop the habit of peace of mind. This of course needs some training and time, but is most worthwhile. Positive thinking, detachment, concentration and meditation, all lead to peace of mind.