Let’s be honest. Heartbreaks are long, challenging journeys to get through. Especially if you don’t find yourself time and space to heal properly. Yet it can also be an amazing trigger for unleashing raw emotion and creativity that can be channeled positively.
A broken heart can push you to shift from living in pain, fear, and self-loathing into this beautiful life of peaceful long-standing self-acceptance.
Ultimately, it is an opportunity to pamper yourself and rediscover your whims and quirks.
In essence, mending an aching heart requires infinite patience, commitment, self-care, and tons of baby steps (Everything that I was bad at).
Unfortunately, there’s no official timeline on how long it takes to overcome such endeavors. The good news is that you will.
Scientific research has found that there is a brain mechanism designed to pull us through tumultuous times in our lives. Meaning that our minds guide us through the psychological growth needed to overbear demanding circumstances.
Meanwhile, there are some practices to help you handle the healing process.
Expecting yourself to just bounce back after an important loss or heartbreak is unrealistic.
Mending a broken heart is rarely just about overcoming the trauma that we experienced (e.g. breakup, divorce, meaningful loss).
Instead, it is about healing the deep-rooted wounds within us that were triggered by that event. This includes skeletal issues like low self-worth, lack of confidence in one’s judgment or ability, diminished self-respect, dissatisfaction with oneself or one’s achievements, and low self-esteem or self-love.
Therefore, first of all, commit to giving yourself a decent amount of time to heal and reconnect with both yourself and your loved ones.
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There is no way around it. To uncover the happiness and love within, first one must feel all the raw, unprocessed emotional pain that is on the surface. Ergo, make time in your schedule to just feel and embrace all that is resurfacing.
Trust that your psyche is doing what it needs to help you overcome this challenge. Just make sure you don’t disconnect yourself completely.
Although you might find yourself feeling like a burden to others, reaching out to friends when you’re feeling pain and loss can be so beneficial.
Talking about your current psychological state with someone who cares about you can make you feel supported and nourished. Nonetheless, make sure you’re also talking about other more playful topics during these encounters.
Smiling and laughing are excellent for an immediate shift in your inner state.
Invite your friends to engage in experiences that light you up, such as listening to uplifting music, dancing, or watching a comic movie.
Often we overlook how a healthy mind breeds a healthy body and visa versa. That’s why exercise is one of the most immediate ways to boost your confidence and make you feel good about yourself.
Exercise will help you to release physical and emotional tension, reshape your physical appearance, and flood your brain with “feel-good” endorphins.
Just the feeling of moving around will have a tremendous impact on the way you feel. So, get up and get moving! Start with something small and build your way up. Don’t try to mend your broken heart in one session.
Remember, this time is an opportunity to strengthen your connection with yourself.
Commit to reminding yourself daily that you are uniquely and wonderfully made by prioritizing a self-care routine.
This can include nurturing your skin, meditating, doing yoga, eating a healthy meal, taking a bubble bath, reading a self-care book, or making time to be with and explore your body. Plus, now might be a good time to get a massage, or go on those retreats you’ve been putting off.
Rushing into quick overnight fixes such as drinking, overeating, dating, and sleeping around might hinder your healing process. (Believe me, I tried).
None of it is inherently bad. Having a glass of wine to relax, your favorite sweet treat, or make new memories with someone, can be fun and reinvigorating. Still, double-check your intentions to make sure you are not using them solely as a distraction from the pain.
Deep emotional healing requires an abnormal amount of energy. This means that during the thick of emotional challenges, it can feel like you are using all your strength just to get out of bed and feed yourself.
Things like taking a shower, go for a walk, or brushing your teeth might just be too much. Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge where you are and celebrate each step towards healing.
Ultimately, this is a personal quest where only you know what steps to take next.
Eventually, you will feel better, you will heal, and you will enjoy life and love again.
Meanwhile, if at any given time it just feels like too much to handle, know that there are therapists that can assist you in processing your pain and grieve in a way that your non-therapist friends cannot.
Lastly, though you might not feel it right now, you are a unique, magnificent human being worthy of endless love and abundance.
About the Author
Sofia is a freelance writer and author of The Lifeful Heart who focuses on sharing a kinder, more deliberate, and joyful way to engage with ourselves and others. Her writings merge the knowledge of a Ph.D. in Psychology with the wisdom of Buddhist tradition and practice.