12 Tips for Overcoming Anger and Gaining Peace
By Remez Sasson
When do you experience anger? You become angry when you are frustrated, unhappy, or when your feelings are hurt. You also experience it when plans don't turn out as desired, or when coming against opposition or criticism.
Anger never helps anyone. It wastes your energy, and hurts your health, spoils your relationships, and causes you to miss opportunities. Getting angry is acting against your best interests.
Things don't always proceed according to plans and expectations. People do not always act the way you wish them to act.
You may not be always be in control of external influences and conditions, but you can certainly learn to control your attitude and reactions.
Everyone gets angry or irritated sometimes, and you have probably asked yourself more then once, how to overcome anger.
- There is no sense in allowing circumstances and people to pull your strings and disturb your mind and feelings.
- You can choose not to let what people say and do affect your moods.
- You can maintain an inner attitude of emotional and mental detachment, and refuse to allow every minor event play with your feelings and cause anger.
I often see people getting angry over unimportant and insignificant matters. Some insignificant remark or action, not getting a satisfactory reply to a question, or just moodiness, are enough to set fire and cause anger, snappy remarks, arguments, and even physical fight. This is absolutely unnecessary. Life can be happier without this behavior.
Anger is a negative reaction, and if you wish to progress on the path of self-improvement or spiritual growth you should avoid it as much as possible.
Learning to calm down the restlessness of the mind and gaining peace of mind, is one of the best and most effective methods to overcome anger, and in fact, all negative emotions.
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If you are willing to invest the time and energy, you will reap great rewards. Peace of mind will not only help you overcome anger, but also help you overcome anxiety and negative thinking, and enable you to stay calm, tranquil and self possessed in difficult and trying situations.
Peace of mind requires the development of an attitude of emotional and mental detachment, which is of vital importance for overcoming and avoiding anger. It protects you against being too affected by what people think, say or do, and is therefore highly recommended. Detachment is not an attitude of indifference and lack of sensitivity. It is an attitude of common sense and inner strength and leads to peace of mind.
Besides peace of mind and emotional deatchment, I would like to suggest a few additional tips.
How to Overcome Anger - 12 Tips
How to overcome anger? There are various ways and various methods and therapies to do so. In this article, I would like to suggest a few simple ways that anyone can follow. If the problem is deep and serious, one would need professional help.
Simple Tips for Overcoming Anger
1. Devote a few minutes, at least once a day, to thinking on how much your life would be better without anger. Think of various scenarios, where you usually become angry, and how your life be and how you would feel without it.
2. Every time you feel that anger is arising in you, take a few deep, slow breaths.
3. Another method to calm and relieve irritability, resentment or anger is to start counting slowly from one to ten. This will delay your angry reaction and weaken it.
4. Drinking some water has a calming effect on the body and feelings, as well as eating something sweet.
5. When possible, go outside and take a short walk, or do some exercise.
6. Try to be more patient and considerate, no matter how difficult it might be. Strive to be more tolerant with people, even with people that you don't like or don't agree with their opinions.
7. Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion. You can disagree with people, but still maintain tact and diplomacy.
8. Choose to react calmly and peacefully in every situation. Try to do so over and again, regardless of how many times you lose control and get angry. It would help if you once or twice a day, visualize yourself acting calmly in various everyday situations. This mental rehearsal would program your mind to act in the same way in your daily life.
9. Positive thinking makes it easier to disregard remarks and behavior that otherwise could cause anger. A positive attitude makes you a happier and more positive person. With this kind of attitude, there is less probability of expressing anger.
10. A certain degree of self control and self-discipline is a great treasure for everyone. These skills, which you can develop, can help you restrain anger, disregard it, and help you choose your reactions, instead of acting rashly and without thinking.
11. Don't take everything too seriously. Do not take everything too personally. It is not worth it. It would be a good idea to develop some degree of detachment. A little detachment would help you stay calm and undisturbed by what people say and do, and avoid being affected by their anger or negative feelings. This is actually that topic of my book Emotional Detachment for Happier Life.
12. Find reasons to smile and laugh more often. This would help you become a happier person, and would make you liked more. A smile and a positive attitude can relieve tension and resentment, and relieve anger in you and in the people around you.
Follow these 12 tips for overcoming anger, or at least a few of them, and you will see how your life and your relationships change for the better.