How to Develop and Increase Your Self-Control
By Remez Sasson
Self-control is the ability to control impulses and reactions, and is another name for self-discipline.
It is not some kind of negative and limiting behavior, as some people might think. When self-control is used wisely and with common sense, it becomes one of the most important tools for self improvement and for achieving success.
It is the ability to say "no" and "enough" to yourself, and to abstain from harmful extremes of behavior, action, eating or doing anything that might be harmful for you and for others.
Self control is vital for overcoming obsessions, fears, addictions, and any kind of unsuitable behavior. It puts you in control of your life, your behavior, and your reactions. It improves your relationships, develops patience and tolerance, and is an important tool for attaining success and happiness.
In what way self-control helps you?
- It keeps in check self-destructive, addictive, obsessive and compulsive behavior.
- Gives you a sense of mastery over your life, and brings balance into your life.
- Self-control helps to keep over-emotional responses in check or moderation.
- Self-control eliminates the feeling helplessness and being too dependent on others.
- It helps to manifest mental and emotional detachment, which contributes to peace of mind.
- It enables to control moods and reject negative feelings and thoughts.
- Self-control strengthens self-esteem, confidence, inner strength, self-mastery and willpower.
- It enables you to take charge of your life.
- It makes you a responsible and trustworthy human being.
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What Are the Obstacles to Self-Control
- Lack of knowledge and understanding what self-control really is.
- Strong and uncontrolled emotional responses.
- Reacting to outside stimuli, without thinking first.
- Lack of discipline and willpower.
- Lack of the desire to change and improve.
- Considering self-control as a limiting and unpleasant activity.
- The belief that self control eliminates fun.
- Lack of faith in oneself and in one's abilities.
How to Have More Self Control - Developing Self Control
How can you have more self control? How can you increase it? Here are a few suggestions.
1) First you need to identify in what areas of your life you need to gain more self-control. Where do you find yourself lacking in self-control?
Possible areas could be:
Eating junk food or overeating
Addiction to shopping
Drinking too much alcohol
Spending too many hours working and leaving no time for anything else
Addiction to gambling
Being quick to get angry
2) Try identifying the emotions that lack control, such as anger, dissatisfaction, unhappiness, resentment or fear.
3) Identify the thoughts and beliefs that push you to behave in an uncontrolled manner.
4) After identifying all the above issues, devote a few minutes every day for thinking about the consequences of this behavior and how your life would be different without them.
5) Several times a day, especially when you need to display self control, repeat for a minute or two one of the following affirmations:
- I am fully in control of myself.
- I have the power to choose my emotions and thoughts.
- Self-control brings me inner strength and leads me to success.
- I am in control of my reactions.
- I am in charge of my behavior.
- I am gaining control of my emotions.>
- I am the maser of my life.
- Day by day my ability to control my feelings and thoughts is increasing.
- Self-control is fun and pleasure.
6) Visualize yourself acting with self-control and self-restraint. Take one of the instances where you usually act with lack of control, and visualize that you are acting calmly and with self-mastery.
7) Your self control will improve considerably, if you work on developing and increasing your willpower and self-discipline through appropriate exercises. This is actually the most important step for developing self control.
By developing and strengthening your willpower and self discipline, you develop and improve your self control. Click here for a powerful training program, with full information, advice, instructions and exercises for gaining willpower, discipline and self control.