By Remez Sasson
A few days ago, I came across the following saying:
“Just because someone invites you to drama, doesn’t mean you have to attend.”
This is so true, but sadly, an advice not frequently followed.
- How many times have you been drawn into the drama someone created?
- How many times you got too involved with other people’s problems or negative thinking?
- How many times you felt manipulated by the drama people created?
- How many times you felt exhausted and tired after such situations?
- How many times you said things you shouldn’t say, when forced into emotional situations?
I daresay many times. And each time, you tell yourself that you wouldn’t let yourself get involved in such a situation anymore, but yet, you get involved again.
Next time, someone “invites” you into drama, telling you about their health and other problems, sharing their negative thoughts, worries or fears, or just criticizing or emotionally manipulating you, wait for a moment before reacting.
You owe it to yourself, not to let anyone manipulate you, or make you feel bad.
Stop for a moment and think:
- Are you willing to participate in this drama?
- Are you willing to spend so much emotional energy?
- Would this drama benefit anyone?
Because someone invited you to drama, doesn’t mean you have to attend the show. You can definitely refuse. If you cannot refuse, consider developing willpower and self-discipline, so that you become stronger and more assertive.
If someone is enacting drama, it doesn’t mean you have to participate.
If there is a movie on TV, which you don’t like watching, all you have to do is change the channel, or turn off the TV. Why can’t you do the same in your life?
I am not talking about indifference and not caring for other people. You can be a loving and caring person, without getting involved in the drama. You don’t have to be part of the drama.
There are people, who intentionally or unintentionally create drama for themselves and for the people around them. If you participate, they will use this tactic with you over and again. If you don’t participate, they will understand that you are neither an actor on the same stage with them, nor a spectator, and will probably stop inviting you into their drama.
This will be your gain.
How can you avoid participating in the drama people create?
How to turn down their invitation to get involved in the drama?
- Ask yourself, if participating in the drama solves anything.
- Ask yourself, if participating in the drama helps anyone.
- Understand that suffering and emotional agitation helps no one, and no one gains anything from them. Why let anyone make you suffer?
- A little emotional detachment will do you good. I have written a few other articles on this important subject, and also a book, teaching how to develop emotional detachment.
- When caught in a drama, take a step back, and view the situation, as if you are viewing some far away scene that has nothing to do with you. You will have to do this over and again, until you become proficient at it.
- Think about something that made you feel happy, such a vacation, being with someone you love, or think about some success you experienced in the past. This will take your mind off the drama.
- If possible, find an excuse to go away.
It is your decision, whether to accept the invitation and take part of the drama, or walk away. It is your decision, whether to stay calm and save your time and energy, or take part in a drama that does not help anyone.