Learn How to Say No

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Do you find it difficult, and sometimes awkward, to say ‘no’?

Do you people take advantage of you because you cannot tell them the word ‘no’?

Here are a few ways to say ‘no’ in an elegant way, and the reasons why you are right in saying ‘no’.

Learn How to Say ‘No’ without Feeling Bad about It

I am in the middle of several projects

• Let people know when you have accepted other responsibilities.
• No need to make excuses if you don’t have any free time.
• No one will fault you for having already filled your plate.

I am not comfortable with that

• You might be uncomfortable with any of a number of issues.
• The people involved, the type of work, the morale implications, etc.
• This is a very respectful way to avoid a sticky situation.

I am not taking on any new responsibilities

• You aren’t saying that you will never help out again.
• You feel your schedule is as full as you would like now.
• Understanding your limits is a talent to be expected.

I am not the most qualified person for the job

• If you don’t feel that you have adequate skills, that’s okay.
• It’s better to admit your limitations up front.
• The best way to avoid feeling overwhelmed down the road.

I do not enjoy that kind of work

• Life isn’t about drudgery – if you don’t enjoy it, why do it?
• Don’t be afraid to let someone know you just don’t want to.
• Someone else is bound to enjoy the work you don’t.

I do not have any more room in my calendar

• Be honest if your schedule is filled.
• “Filled” doesn’t have to mean really filled.
• Know when you are scheduled as much as you are willing and stop.

I hate to split my attention among projects

• Let people know that you want to do a good job for them.
• But you can’t when your focus is too divided or splintered.
• You will be more effective if you focus on one project at a time.

I have another commitment

• It doesn’t matter what the commitment is
• It can even simply be time to yourself or with friends or family.
• You don’t have to justify — you simply aren’t available.

I have no experience with that

• Volunteering shouldn’t mean learning an entirely new set of skills.
• Suggest that they find someone who has experience in that area.
• Offer to help out with something that you already know how to do.

I know you will do a wonderful job yourself

• People often ask for help because they doubt their own abilities.
• Let them know that you have confidence they will succeed.
• You are actually doing them a favor in the long run.

I need to focus more on my personal life

• Don’t be ashamed of wanting to spend time with your family.
• Having a strong family is an important priority in and of itself.
• Be willing to put your personal needs first.

I need to focus on my career right now

• Often, you have to focus your energies on a work-related task.
• You may have to give up some civic or community duties.
• If you don’t do it, someone else will take on the task.

I need to leave some free time for myself

• It’s okay to be selfish – in a good way!
• Treat your personal time like any other appointment.
• Block off time in your calendar and guard it with your life.

I would rather decline than do a mediocre job

• Know when you aren’t going to be able to deliver a quality product.
• The reason doesn’t matter — not enough time, wrong skills, etc.
• Whatever the reason is enough for turning a request down.

I would rather help out with another task

• Saying no doesn’t mean that you can’t help at all.
• If someone asks you to do something you really despise, refuse.
• Then offer to help with something you find more enjoyable.

Let me hook you up with someone who can do it

• If you aren’t available to help out, offer another qualified resource.
• Helping to connect people is a valuable service to offer.
• Make sure the person you refer will represent you well.

No

• Sometimes it’s okay to just say no!
• Just say it in a way that expresses respect and courtesy.
• Leave the door open for good relations.

Not right now, but i can do it later

• If you really want to help but don’t have time, say so.
• Offer to help at a later time or date.
• If they can’t wait for you, they’ll find someone else.

Some things have come up that need my attention

• Unexpected things happen that throw your schedule off.
• Accept that you may need to make a few adjustments.
• It is temporary and you will have more time when life stabilizes.

This really is not my strong suit

• It’s okay to admit your limitations.
• Knowing what you can handle and what you can’t is a skill.
• Your time will be more efficiently spent on something you do well.

About the Author
Ramona Creel is a modern renaissance woman and guru of simplicity, traveling the country as a full-time river, sharing her story of radically downsizing, and inspiring others to regain control of their own lives. Follow her on twitter and on facebook.