Too Much Empathy Does Not Help Anyone

By Remez Sasson

Look at the people around you, and you will discover that almost everyone seems to get emotionally involved, and go through the ups and downs of the people close to them. Sometimes, they also get emotionally involved with the problems of strangers too.

Look, for example, at how parents feel in relation to their children. They get anxious and stressed by whatever happens to them at school and with friends. Sometimes, this goes too far, making the parents nervous, restless and tense. This is an unhealthy situation, draining their strength and energy, and preventing them from having a sound sleep at night.

Is this necessary? You might say that you need to sympathize and empathize. Yes, you are right, but only up to a certain point.

A certain amount of empathy is okay, but when it becomes exaggerated it causes unnecessary emotional pain and suffering.

You need to realize that everyone has his or her own life, with its ups and downs, and things he or she has to deal with in order to grow and get stronger. You don’t need to solve everyone’s problem. What makes you think that you can do it better for them?

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How to Stop Taking Things Too Personally and Seriously

By Remez Sasson

Do you take too personally what people say to you?

Do you feel offended by remarks, actions or behavior of other people?

Do you take every minor event too seriously, letting it limit or frighten you?

Did you know that quite often the offence is not real, and the so-called offender never intended to offend you at all?

Sometimes, you might have a wrong interpretation of someone’s words or behavior, due to lack of sufficient information or missing facts. Does this justify feeling offended? In such cases, the so-called offender might not know what’s the matter with you.

On other occasions, even if the other person did try to offend you intentionally, why accept, think, or dwell on what he or she said? It is absolutely foolish to participate in the game of hurt feelings.

I know, you might say it is easier said than done. When you feel hurt, insulted and angry, you cannot sweep these feelings under the carpet, but good and worthwhile things require some effort. Learning how to stop taking things too personally and too personally require that you invest effort and time.

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How to Get Your Head Above Water and Keep It There

By Remez Sasson

You must have asked yourself many times, how to survive when there are financial problems, and how to get your head above water, and keep it there.

Positive thinking and visualization are a good solution, but the problem is that when you are in financial problems, and when there is a shortage of money, it is not so easy to think positively. Worries keep popping up, especially when you see the bills in front of you.

The solution is of course to be alert, and constantly, day after day, replace your worries and negative thinking with positive thinking.

Better still, to teach yourself positive thinking during the goods times, when it is easier to think positively, and much better it is, to learn and train yourself from an early age, but this is not always practical or possible.

How to get your head above water and keep it there?

A visitor asked:

“It feels like my life has been on a downward spiral. I struggle to keep my head above water financially, and just as things seem to get back in line something else happens.

I realize that the most obvious answer is to stop worrying… but it’s not that easy when you see the bills in front of you, and you have no idea how to cover them.”

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How to Clear the Mind of Thoughts

By Remez Sasson

A visitor to the website has asked the following question:
“So you are saying once our mind is cleared, we start experienceing inner peace, but what is the most important thing to do to clear your mind? I have read a lot at many websites, but still can’t understand the subject.”

Here is the reply:

Concentration, meditation and the development of inner detachment help clear the mind of thoughts, making room for inner peace.

There is no instant inner peace. In order to attain and enjoy inner peace, work and effort are required, but not everyone is willing to invest the necessary time and energy into this project.

Concentration
The practice of special concentration exercise improve the ability to focus the mind on one single thought or subject and reject unrelated thoughts. This ability helps you gain the skill of opening or closing the mind at will to the constant flow of thoughts.
Information on Concentration
Concentration exercises

Meditation
In meditation you use the skills gained through the development of the power of concentration, in order to free your mind of thoughts. There are may forms of meditation, which all help clear the mind of thoughts, and which ultimately lead to the ability to meditate without thoughts.
More on Meditation

Detachment
Without some inner detachment there is no inner peace. You need to learn not to be affected easily by what people say or do, and not let your emotions rule your life. I am not talking about being indifferent and uncaring. It might seem a paradox, but you can be compassionate, helpful and full of love, and at the same time display inner detachment. It is a mental attitude which leads to common sense, better judgement, more understanding and inner peace.
More on Detachment

You can find in-depth information, instructions and exercises for developing the skills leading to inner peace in my book Peace of Mind in Daily Life.

What is detachment?

By Remez Sasson

There is some misunderstanding about the meaning of detachment. What is detachment? Does it mean being indifferent, lazy or lacking warmth and compassion? No, this is not true detachment!

True detachment is a state of not getting disturbed or agitated by external events and by yours and other people’s emotions and thoughts. It is a state of staying calm and in control of yourself and your moods in every situation, without feeling being harassed or hurried by people or circumstances.

Detachment shows itself in lack of attachment to the results of your actions, and in accepting the consequences of what you do. Instead of getting nervous, angry, agitated or unhappy, if things go wrong, you stay calm and try again. In this sense, detachment shows itself as inner peace, inner strength and courage.

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