- Do you take too personally what people say do?
- Do you feel offended by the remarks, actions or behavior of other people?
- Do you take every minor event too seriously, allowing it to limit you or frighten you?
There is no need to take anything too personally! It’s just a waste of mental and emotional energy.
You might say it is easier said than done, but truth is that you can do something about it.
Do you sometimes feel you have been offended? Often, you might have a wrong interpretation of someone’s words or behavior due to lack of sufficient information or missing facts.
Sometimes, the offence is not real, and the so-called offender never intended to offend you at all. Does this justify feeling offended? You only cause yourself unnecessary suffering.
So what if someone expressed some criticism? Does this justify thinking over and again about what he or she said? Will this help you in any way? The other person might not even be aware that you have been offended.
On other occasions, even if the other person did try to offend you intentionally, why accept, think, or dwell on what he or she said? It is absolutely useless and unnecessary to participate in the game of hurt feelings.
When you feel hurt, insulted and angry, it is very unwise and unhealthy to brood over it, or pretend to sweep these feelings under the carpet.
It is better, wiser and healthier to learn not to take anything personally.
Learning how to stop taking things personally requires some effort and time on your part. You can learn to change your attitude and learn to react differently. This becomes possible with a certain degree of emotional detachment.
Taking things too personally and too seriously, makes life difficult, and often brings unhappiness and suffering.
When you take things too personally, you make yourself more vulnerable to hurt feelings, anger, frustration and unhappiness. Taking things too personally is like placing a heavy load on your back.
What to Do to Stop Taking Things too Personally?
The remedy is to adopt an attitude of emotional detachment. I have written a few articles about this subjects at this website:
Emotional Detachment Can Improve Your Life
Do You Know What Emotional Detachment Is?
You can also find detailed information, with guidance and instructions in my book,
Emotional Detachment for Happier Life.
Here are a few simple tips:
- Ask yourself, “Is what you heard true at all?”
- Why do I take things personally? Is it because I lack self-esteem and consider other people as more important then me? If this is true, why do I believe others are better?
- Think, maybe what you heard does not refer to you at all.
- Ask yourself why are you allowing words and feelings to hurt you.
- Work at improving your self-confidence.
- Avoid thinking over and again about what upset you. Instead, think of something useful, and which makes you feel happier.
- When you take something too personally and cannot let go of it, go away alone for a walk, or exercise your body. This will clear and calm down your mind, and shift your attention away from what is bothering you.
- Don’t jump to conclusions too quickly. Think first
- Wait a while before responding angrily.
- It would be a good idea to start practicing meditation every day. It will enable you to to maintain a tranquil state of mind in difficult and stressful situations.
- Try to look dispassionately and with lack of interest at what you take personally. Often, you will realize that you are inflating minor, unimportant matters into big issues.
When you learn to use emotional detachment in a positive way, you will be able, in a natural and effortless way, not to take things too personally. You will also not take minor and unimportant incidents too seriously. This will make you feel free and happy.
Emotional detachment is a skill that you can learn, like any other skill and can improve how you feel in many situations. You need a certain degree of emotional detachment, if you wish to feel free and to improve the quality of your life. Its lack, leads to attachment, to fear of letting go, and to avoiding changes.
Here are a few quotes to think about
“Don’t Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”
– Don Miguel Ruiz
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
“I cannot always control what goes on outside. But I can always control what goes on inside.”
– Wayne Dyer
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“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
– Lewis B. Smedes
“We often add to our pain and suffering by being overly sensitive, over-reacting to minor things and sometimes taking things too personally.”
– Dalai Lama