Everyone wants to be liked and loved. This is a subconscious desire that everyone has from an early age. People need other people’s approval and are unhappy if they do not get it.
Some people like to show off. Some people crave for compliments or approval. They do so because they want people to like them. However, sometimes, people do and say things that create the opposite effect.
Though some factors are outside our control, we are responsible, for a great extent, for the way people treat us, and whether they like us or don’t like us.
This means that there are many things we can do to increase the chances that people like us.
- Do you sometimes wonder why people don’t like you?
- Do you wonder why some people are always liked?
- Do you want more people to like you?
- Do you wish more people seek your company?
Behavior, words and body language, determine how people treat us and how we treat them.
Some People Like Us and Some Don’t
Suppose you enter a shop and you see that one of the employees is watching you and going after you with a sour face. When you ask him a question, he answers impatiently and impolitely. How would you feel?
Would you like to continue shopping in that shop? Would you like the salesperson? You would most probably want to go away and not return to this shop.
Now, imagine that you enter a different shop, where you feel welcomed. The seller smiles at you, is kind, and answers every question patiently and politely, and even offers you a glass of water. You would like the salesperson and be more inclined to buy, wouldn’t you?
It is the same in all areas of life. We like people who are kind and helpful, and stay away from unpleasant and stressful people.
Tips to Make People Like You More
What can you do to make people like you?
There are many things you can do to get people like you, and I would like to suggest a few. You might have come across these ideas, because they are not new. However, constant reminder is important.
1. Smile more often. A smile will always make people more inclined to like you, but it should be natural and real.
2. The tone of your voice is important. Speaking calmly, at a moderate speed and a moderate tone of voice would be helpful. Speaking in this way conveys non-aggression and friendliness.
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3. Try to make people feel at ease in your company. People need to experience pleasant emotions when they are around you. Even as a boss, if you want your employees to like you, you need to be kind and friendly and avoid creating stress.
4. Avoid arguments. Avoid unnecessary arguments, especially about politics, religion and beliefs. You may not agree with other people’s opinions and point of view, and that is okay, but there is no need to make an issue of this or create arguments and animosity.
5. Show respect to other people. Display respect and interest in other people opinions and beliefs, but if they differ from yours, direct the conversation toward other subjects. Try to focus on agreements, not disagreements.
This does not mean you should change your opinion or give it up. It is possible to be kind and tolerant with people who hold different opinions or beliefs.
6. Do not insist on talking about topics people do not want to talk about. If someone does not want to talk about a particular topic, respect his or her wish and move on to something else.
7. Do not focus on yourself. Focusing on yourself will bore the other person. Focus on the other person. This will show them that you are interested in them, and make them like you. Look for topics that will interest you both. If you share someone else’s topics of interests, there is a greater chance that they will seek your company.
8. Find out what the other person likes. If you could find what makes a person tick, you will have a great power in your hands. You will know better how to behave and how to talk. This would make the conversation more interesting and friendly. Of course, you have to be sincere in order for this to work.
9. Don’t keep talking when people are tired. Don’t insist of talking when the other person looks tired. If someone seems tired stop the conversation.
10. Be careful not to bore people. If you discover that you are boring someone, change the topic of the conversation.
11. Do not force people to listen to you. Never force people to listen to you. If they are not interested, do not force them to listen to your stories, especially if the stories are about unpleasant matters.
12. Be careful not to be intimidating. Some people are not aware that they intimidate others by their behavior and aggressiveness. An intimidating behavior alienates people from you.
13. Greet people you know. Greet your neighbors, colleagues, boss friends and family. this shows them that you like them and they will respond accordingly.
14. Congratulate people. Make it a habit to congratulate people for their good work, good deeds, their success and for their accomplishments. This equals a tap on the shoulder, and shows that you participate in their happiness. People appreciate this behavior and reward you accordingly, with appreciation and friendliness.
Remember, some people do not show emotions easily, and others are more emotional. Some show their feelings and some do not. Some prefer to talk about serious matters, while others prefer to talk about entertaining matters.
Your attitude toward people is most important. If your attitude makes people feel uncomfortable in your company, how can you expect them to like you?
Remember, too much of everything is not necessarily good. Talking too much or talking too little, asking too many questions, or asking none at all, is too much. You need to be moderate in your actions. This will increase the chances that people might like you and be comfortable in your company.
Try to be aware of your body language, behavior and words, since as said earlier, they affect people’s opinion of you. Patience, tolerance, being considerate and helpful, and a little empathy, will win you more friends, more sympathy and more love.