How to Build Self Confidence in 20 Steps

Do you wish you had more confidence and more self-esteem? Confidence is a most important skill in everyone’s life.

Most people are not born with this quality of character. However, you can build it up if you lack this skill.

You can build self-confidence by changing your mindset and your attitude toward life, even if various personal experiences in the past caused you to lose it.

Reasons You Should Build Self-Confidence

What are the Reasons why you should have self-confidence?

• Self confidence is important in everyone’s life, because it gives courage, self-esteem and assertiveness. When self-confidence is present, you are unafraid to take risks and try new things.
• Self-confidence is essential for a happy and successful life.
• It is a quality of character that most people appreciate.
• When you possess confidence, you can refuse to allow people’s words and actions to affect your feelings.
• Being confident, you do not take things too personally. This means a more peaceful life.
• When you improve your self-confidence, you improve your emotional and mental health.

Self-confidence is often affected by how you believe people see you.

If you have low self-esteem, you would probably believe and feel that people don’t have a high opinion of you, which will of course,, undermine your self-confidence.

If you see yourself in your mind’s eye as lacking self-confidence, you will behave accordingly, and people will treat you accordingly.

If you see yourself in your mind’s eye as strong and assertive, you would broadcast this attitude to the people you meet who would sense your inner strength and treat you accordingly.

Read Our Willpower and Self-Discipline Guide.

How to Build Your Self-Confidence

Here are a few self confidence tips to help you build your confidence and self-worth.

1. Identify the Types of Situations Where You Feel the Most Self-Conscious

When you’re with your friends and family, what areas of your life do you feel the most self-conscious and lacking confidence?

In which areas do you feel most confident and capable?

It is important to know in what area to focus and improve.

2. Self-Talk: Don’t Be Your Worst Critic

At times, we can be our own worst critics.

Regardless of how hard you try, you will not be able to please everyone all the time. Even the most skilled and talented people make mistakes.

However, you don’t need to be perfect to be amazing. It’s normal to make mistakes in life, but the key is to learn from them.

When you are feeling self- conscious or unsure of yourself, it can be easy to point out every mistake you make. It can also be easy to criticize yourself, especially when you are feeling vulnerable.

However, it’s important to realize that you don’t need to be perfect to be amazing.

Always avoid negative self-talk and focus on positive self-talk.

Making mistakes is OK, even expected. The key is to learn from them.

3. Reflect on What You Have Already Achieved in Your Life

Even if you experienced failure and unhappiness in your life, there certainly are a few achievements.

These need not be great achievements but simple ones, such as getting good grades at school or college, a promotion at work, getting along well with your neighbors, getting your driver’s license, or learning to swim.

Thinking about those achievements makes you realize that you have experienced success in your life, and not all is failure.

This would make you feel better about yourself and your life and improve your self-esteem.

4. Focus on What You Achieved, not on What You Did not Achieve

Why fill your mind with scenarios of failure?

If you keep thinking about failure, you unconsciously expect and anticipate it, and it might eventually attract it to you. This would further spoil your sense of self-confidence.

You should replace this negative movie in your mind with a movie about success. See yourself in your mind, where you really want to be, living the life you really want.

If you keep watching a movie of success in your mind, you will eventually attract success. This process would build up your self-confidence.

5. Write Down a List of Your Achievements and Successes

Take another step toward building your self-confidence and write down a list of your achievements and success, and look at this list often.

You might say that you have never experienced success.

You are wrong about that!

You surely had, even if only occasionally, experienced some success. Even baking a good cake, having good relations with your spouse or children, or going for a walk almost daily is a form of success.

6. Think about Your Talents and Abilities

Set a time each day to think about your talents and abilities and find ways to develop and use them. Do not say that you have no talents and skills. Everyone has some. You just need to find them.

7. Encouraging Words: Why Saying “I Can Do It” Matters

One of the best things you can do to boost your confidence is to remind yourself of your abilities and strengths. A great way to do this is by reminding yourself of your passions and interests.

If you’re in a situation where you feel self-conscious, try thinking about a passion or interest that you have. This can help you shift your focus towards something more positive. It can remind you that you are capable of achieving anything that you put your mind to.

Another way you can do this is by reminding yourself of your strengths and abilities. Try writing a list of your strengths and abilities and then place it somewhere that you will see it often.

This can help you stay focused on the things that you are good at and remind you that you are capable of anything.

Always tell yourself: “I can do it!” These words sink into your subconscious mind, and can change your mindset, making you more confident.

8. Be More Assertive

Being more assertive means that you are taking control of your life and shaping your future.

When you are more assertive, you can identify your wants and needs instead of others’ wants and needs.

Assertiveness is one of the best ways to boost your self-confidence. It is not about being rude or aggressive. It is about standing up for yourself.

Assertiveness is about identifying what you want and refusing to take “no” for an answer.

9. Learn from Your Mistakes

Mistakes are part of the journey. You are only human, so it is natural to make mistakes.

The key to building confidence is to learn from your mistakes. Ask yourself what you did right or wrong, and try to apply what you learned to the next situation.

If you make a mistake, don’t beat yourself up about it. Instead, try to learn from the mistake. What did you do wrong? What can you do to prevent this from happening in the future?

10. Strengthen Your Willpower and Self-Discipline

Lack of self-confidence goes hand in hand with a lack of willpower and self-discipline.

When you strengthen your willpower and self-discipline, your self-confidence also grows. I have written a lot about these topics in many articles.

I have also written a book about this topic, so there is no need to go deeper into it here.

Stronger willpower and self-discipline mean more assertiveness, self-esteem, and confidence.

11. Set Small, Simple Goals

Set small, simple goals within your reach, and achieve them. This will significantly boost your confidence.

I am talking about really small goals, such as cleaning and arranging your wardrobe or drawers, inviting friends to your house, learning to swim, taking a short walk, or talking with someone whom you don’t like.

These small acts will make you feel better and increase your self-confidence.

12. Develop a Positive Attitude

Instead of focusing on adverse events and expecting the worse, make an effort to focus on the positive and expect positive results.

This might be challenging if your mindset has always been negative.

However, you can change your mental habits and build a positive attitude with persistence. You will find plenty of information about positive thinking on this website.

It will help if you strive to remove all negative thoughts and words from your mind and your vocabulary and refrain from using them in your conversation.

13. Give Yourself Motivational Talks

Remove any negative commentary running in your mind. Be firm, and do not allow negative comments about you and your life to run in your mind.

You need to be more aware of what is going on in your mind and not allow negative self-talk to go on in your mind.

14. What We Wear Often Affects How We Feel

What kind of clothes make you feel better? What colors make you feel more confident?

Choose the clothes and colors you like and the ones that make you feel more confident.

15. Be mindful of Your Body Language

Make sure that you stand with your back straight, your shoulders back, and that you don’t cross your arms defensively.

How you hold your body affects how you feel.

Your posture determines, to a great extent, how people look at you and think of you. If you wish to look and act confidently, you should be aware of your body language.

16. Act Confidently

Act confidently, even if you are faking it. In time, acting confidently will become a habit.

17. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone and Face Your Fears

Stepping out of your comfort zone is a powerful way to build self-confidence. It allows you to challenge yourself, grow as an individual, and prove to yourself that you are capable of overcoming obstacles.

Start by identifying one thing that scares you or makes you uncomfortable, and make a commitment to face it.

Remember that growth happens outside of your comfort zone. Start small and gradually push yourself further.

Each time you face a fear or try something new, you will gain confidence in your abilities and expand your comfort zone. Face the discomfort and trust that it will lead you to personal growth and increased self-confidence.

18. Find a Support System

The people you surround yourself with can have a significant impact on your self-confidence. Surrounding yourself with positive and supportive individuals can boost your self-esteem and provide you with a strong support system.

Seek out friends, family members, or mentors who believe in you and your abilities. These people can offer encouragement, provide constructive feedback, and help you stay motivated on your journey to self-confidence.

Remember, you deserve to be surrounded by people who inspire you to be your best self.

19. Let Your Voice Be Heard

When talking, speak up clearly, and don’t be afraid to express your opinions. You don’t have to agree to what others are saying.

20. Taking Action and Challenging Yourself

If you want to build your self-confidence, you need to start by taking action. You cannot expect to feel confident if you never try to build it.

One of the best ways to boost your confidence is to try new things, especially if they involve challenging yourself.

Challenge yourself to try new activities or take on new projects that require you to push yourself. This can help you build your confidence and push yourself to be the best that you can be.

However, be careful and use your common sense. Challenging yourself does not mean doing risky, foolish or dangerous things. It means getting out of your comfort zone and doing things you are not comfortable with, but which are useful and that can improve your life.

Once you have taken action and feel more confident, don’t forget to celebrate the victories and appreciate your strengths.

When you’re celebrating your victories and appreciating your strengths, you are reminding yourself that you are capable of almost anything.

You Can Build Self-Confidence. It Is within Reach

The tips on this page will help you build your self-confidence. In some cases, you might need more than these tips.

Sometimes, suppose there is a situation of extreme lack of confidence, assertiveness, and self-esteem. In that case, you might need professional help, like a counselor or a psychologist. They would help you find the reasons for their lack and offer ways to help you build them up.

Remember:

• To gain self confidence, you must step out of your comfort zone.
• Develop self confidence in your ability to achieve your goals.
• Spend time to become confident and feel good about yourself instead of bad.

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts them.”
― Lao Tzu

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”
– Dale Carnegie

“You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.”
– Michael Jordan