Do you sometimes wonder how to detach yourself from someone who makes you feel distressed and uncomfortable?
We often have to deal with people who cause us stress. These could be strangers, but they can also be close people, whom we love.
Attachment to people that creates stress in your life is not good for your physical, emotional and mental health.
There are people who only speak of their troubles and problems and suck the energy of the people around them. They are often focused on themselves, and are not really interested in other people. It is tiring and exhausting to be around such people.
These people could be your coworkers, neighbors, friends or family. The best thing for you to do, if this is possible, is to keep a distance from them. You also need to detach yourself from those that create stress, distress and anxiety, and who suck you energy and make you feel exhausted.
What Does Attachment Do to You?
Too much attachment makes you vulnerable to other people’s moods and state of mind. If these people are positive, the relationship might be helpful, but if they are negative and the complaining type, there might be problems for you.
- Too much attachment to negative people leaves the door open for their worries, anxieties, fears and complaints to enter your mind and affect you adversely.
- In this situation, you allow their worries, anxieties, fears and problems to affect how you think and feel.
- You allow their thoughts and emotions to soak into your subconscious mind and affect you.
- You allow negativity, distress and bad feelings into your life.
- You lose your emotional and mental freedom.
- You worry too much about matters that do not concern you.
- You allow people to manipulate you emotionally and mentally.
- The more you are attached to someone, the more worried you will get about losing him or her. You might call this kind of behavior love, but it is not love, it is attachment, fear, and lack of independence.
- If you get apart from someone to whom you are attached, you might get depressed.
Detaching Yourself from Someone Disturbs You
You might be attached to your job, career, and the people close to you. However, this attachment is often against your best interests, and at times, might hurt you. You need to make a change in your life, strive to be less attached to anything that causes you pain and unhappiness.
When in the company of stressful people, who make you feel stressed, emotionally agitated and unhappy, just leave and go away.
What should you do if you cannot just leave and go away?
What if you cannot leave your job or keep away from certain people, and you have to continue being around them? Sometimes, the people closest you are the ones you disturb your inner peace.
In these situations, you need to learn to display a certain degree of emotional detachment.
- Emotional detachment does not mean giving up.
- Detaching yourself from people does not mean giving up on them.
- Detaching yourself from someone does not mean breaking communication and becoming and uncaring and inconsiderate.
Detaching yourself from someone means protecting your mental and emotional health, staying calm and poised, and not allowing negative thoughts and feelings to affect your state of mind, attitude or actions.
You can be loving and considerate, and yet detach yourself from the negative emotions and negative thoughts that someone projects.
The detachment process does not mean ending relations, giving up goals, or abstaining from the things you love to do.
Emotional detachment is the skill of remaining calm and poised in stressful and difficult situations, avoiding stress and worries, and not allowing the stress, worries, and anxieties of other people to agitate your mind and emotions and affect you adversely.
Attachment and detachment apply not just to people, but also to things and possessions. Enjoy what you have, be grateful for what you have, but if you lose anything or something breaks down, stay calm and move on. This is detachment.
Feeling okay if you lose something, and going on with your life, saves you a lot of heartache, pain and unhappiness.
Detaching yourself mentally and emotionally from anything that limits you or creates stress, distress and unhappiness will bring freedom, lightness and happiness into your life.
Attachment makes you feel weak, helpless and worried. Detachment makes you feel strong, confident, invulnerable and happy.
How to Detach Yourself from Someone Who Creates Stress
How do you detach yourself from someone who has a bad influence on you, and who makes you feel stressed and unhappy? Here are a few simple suggestions:
1. Find a few minutes every day to think about the bad effect stressful people have on you.
2. Think about what these people’s words and emotions are doing to you, and how they affect your mind, emotions and behavior. If you are not satisfied with the situation, you need to do something about it.
3. Think and imagine how you would feel if you could stay calm and poised, not affected by the stress, anxiety and strain they are causing you.
4. Think and plan what you can do to avoid being affected by them. Maybe you can stay away from them, not listen to their words, or change the conversation.
5. When in stressful situations, take a few deep breaths, and when possible, drink a class of water.
6. Another useful strategy is to start thinking about something pleasant and funny, so you divert your attention from what you are hearing.
If you wish to learn more about the benefits of detachment, and how it can make your life happier and calmer, I recommend that you read my book Emotional Detachment for Happier Life. In this book, I have fully explained how to develop this skill.
You can also find information about this topic, and about how to detach yourself from someone who creates stress and emotional agitation for you in the following articles:
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