Here is an excerpt from the book Emotional Detachment for Happier Life By Remez Sasson that speaks about attachment.
This excerpt is written in the format of a conversation between a teacher and his pupil.
Teacher: It is important to understand what is attachment and how to overcome it, since it has much to do with understanding and developing detachment.
Attachment is an emotional bond to another person, to possessions, memories, habits, or certain situations. Attachment is usually motivated by desires, fear of loss, and by the unwillingness to make changes.
Desire, often leads to attachment to the object or subject of the desire, and this leads to fear of loss. Fear of loss, in turn, leads to the tendency to hold tightly to people or possessions, but this behavior can cause suffering, when there is change or loss.
Attachment is a kind of dependency that allows possessions, circumstances, people, memories, thoughts, habits and beliefs to control and manipulate one’s life, moods and state of mind. Attachment is the fear of letting go, of leaving the old and embracing the new. It is the fear of change.
Attachment leads to anxiety, worry, fear, sorrow, suffering, pain and lack of peace, since possessions can get broken or lost, situations and circumstances often change, and people get in and out of our life. If we are too attached to any of them, loss or change will sooner or later upset and disturb our inner peace.
Pupil: It is difficult not to be attached to people we love.
Teacher: You can love, care, and respect the needs of your loved ones, without the negative manifestations of attachment, such as possessiveness, emotional manipulation, and jealousy.
Sometimes, what seems to be love is not real love, but attachment – moved by the fear of change and the fear of loss, and by possessiveness and dependency. You can love, respect and enjoy the company of people, without attachment.
Nothing is permanent in the world; people come in and go out of everyone’s life. If you understand and accept this fact, there will be less likelihood of anger, envy, frustration or suffering.
An excerpt from the book Emotional Detachment for Happier Life By Remez Sasson.