What is anger and when does it appear?
Anger comes out as a response to feelings of dissatisfaction, frustration and unhappiness, which usually arise when we dislike a person, a certain object, or a situation.
It usually appears when we are unable to fulfill our wishes and desires, or when we are forced to do something we dislike doing or we would rather avoid.
In such situations, the mind reacts by producing unhappiness and stress, and this leads to anger and resentment.
Day-to-day life confronts us with many situations, which can produce anger.
Here are a few examples:
- Your partner, children or friends, say or do things that you don’t like.
- You want to make yourself a cup of coffee, but discover that you ran out of coffee.
- You arrive late to the station, and find that the train has already left.
- You need to talk to someone, whom you do not like.
- Your plans might not turn out as you wish they would.
All these, and other similar situations, can cause anger. The question is, do you have to react automatically, or maybe you can change your reaction and avoid anger?
The truth is that you can learn to react differently. This would require some effort, but is definitely worthwhile.
Anger is a most negative reaction, and should be avoided as much as possible. This is a must, if you wish to progress on the path of self improvement.
You cannot avoid all the situations that cause anger, however, with some training, you can learn to change your reactions and attitude. You can teach yourself not to get angry.
You need to be aware of the situations that could lead to anger, and be alert enough when you experience them.
You can overcome anger, but this requires some inner work on your part. You don’t have to react automatically, you can learn to act consciously and control your reactions.
8 Simple Tips to Overcome Anger
- When you feel uncomfortable and unhappy, stop what you are doing and visualize a pleasant mental scene from the past. Think of something that made you happy.
- When you feel that you are getting angry, breathe a few deep breaths. This will delay the anger and calm you down.
- Count slowly from one to ten. This will delay your angry reaction and weaken it. You can make this exercise more effective by counting backwards, from ten to one.
- During your spare time, think about what anger leads to, and how worthwhile it is to avoid it.
- When feeling angry, drink some water. This has a calming effect on the body, emotions and mind.
- Strive to be as patient as you can in your day-to-day life. As you become more patient, you will be slower to anger
- One of the best remedies to anger is emotional detachment. When you are emotionally detached you stop taking things personally, stop being effected by what people say or do, and you can more easily avoid getting angry.
- Another way to avoid anger is to develop the habit of peace of mind. This requires some training, but is most worthwhile skill.
“A man in a passion, rides a mad horse.”
“A quarrelsome man has no good neighbours.”
“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
“The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk.”
“Never do anything when you are in a temper, for you will do everything wrong.”
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