By Remez Sasson
Do you take too personally what people say to you?
Do you feel offended by remarks, actions or behavior of other people?
Do you take every minor event too seriously, letting it limit or frighten you?
Did you know that quite often the offence is not real, and the so-called offender never intended to offend you at all?
Sometimes, you might have a wrong interpretation of someone’s words or behavior, due to lack of sufficient information or missing facts. Does this justify feeling offended? In such cases, the so-called offender might not know what’s the matter with you.
On other occasions, even if the other person did try to offend you intentionally, why accept, think, or dwell on what he or she said? It is absolutely foolish to participate in the game of hurt feelings.
I know, you might say it is easier said than done. When you feel hurt, insulted and angry, you cannot sweep these feelings under the carpet, but good and worthwhile things require some effort. Learning how to stop taking things too personally and too personally require that you invest effort and time.
You have no choice but to train yourself, change your attitude, and learn to react differently.
Taking things too personally and too seriously, makes life difficult, and often brings unhappiness and suffering.
When you take things too personally and seriously, you make yourself more vulnerable to hurt feelings, anger, frustration and unhappiness. Taking things too personally is like placing a heavy load on your back.
What can you do to stop taking things too personally and seriously?
There are many things you can do as first aid tips, but I wouldn’t go into them. You can easily find them on the Internet. I am suggesting here a different thing, which can put an end to this situation, and this is emotional detachment. I have written a number of articles on this subject, which you can find at the website, as well as a book dedicated to this subject. When you learn to use emotional detachment in a positive way, you will not need first aid tips, but will, in a natural and effortless way, not take things too personally. You will also not take minor and unimportant incidents too seriously. This will make you free and happy.
True detachment is a skill that requires some training, and cannot be taught in a short article like this.
Emotional Detachment For a Better Life
Lack of emotional detachment leads to attachment, to fear of letting go, and to avoiding changes.
You need a certain degree of emotional detachment, if you wish to feel free, and to improve the quality of your life.
Below you will find a few quotes to ponder about, and, which relate to the subject of this article.
Don’t Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
Don Miguel Ruiz
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
Buddha
I cannot always control what goes on outside. But I can always control what goes on inside.
Wayne Dyer
To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.
Lewis B. Smedes
We often add to our pain and suffering by being overly sensitive, over-reacting to minor things and sometimes taking things too personally.
Dalai Lama
Remez Sasson is an author and blogger. He is the founder of SuccessConsciousness.com, a website and blog about self improvement and spiritual growth.
Remez Sasson is the author of several life transforming books, containing a wealth of information, advice and guidance.
Very well thought post ! The title of this post is one which many would relate to. I think I will follow things you have said above. I loved the choice of the quotes you have put here , the quote on coal is so true .
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A lot of our offenses come from deep seated insecurities. But when we focus on the wrong like you have said, we are the ones that get hurt through stress and the consequential diseases.
This is so true. A sense of humour about the little challenges of life helps us not to take things personally. I love analogies and one that helps here is – if someone gives you a present and you don’t take it, who does it belong to? It belongs to the person still holding it, so if we don’t take hold of or latch onto the shit that comes our way, we stay free of it.