Do you take too personally things people say?
Do you feel offended by remarks, actions or behavior of other people?
Do you take every minor event too seriously, allowing it to limit you or frighten you?
There is no need to take anything too personally! It’s just a waste of mental and emotional energy.
You might say it is easier said than done, but truth is that you can do something about it.
Do you sometimes feel you have been offended? Often, you might have a wrong interpretation of someone’s words or behavior due to lack of sufficient information or missing facts.
Sometimes, the offence is not real, and the so-called offender never intended to offend you at all.
Does this justify feeling offended?
Does this justify thinking over and again about what someone said yo you? The other person might not even be aware that you have been offended.
On other occasions, even if the other person did try to offend you intentionally, why accept, think, or dwell on what he or she said? It is absolutely useless and unnecessary to participate in the game of hurt feelings.
When you feel hurt, insulted and angry, you cannot sweep these feelings under the carpet. Learning how to stop taking things too personally requires some effort and time on your part. You can learn to change your attitude and learn to react differently. This possible with a certain degree of emotional detachment.
Taking things too personally and too seriously, makes life difficult, and often brings unhappiness and suffering.
When you take things too personally, you make yourself more vulnerable to hurt feelings, anger, frustration and unhappiness. Taking things too personally is like placing a heavy load on your back.
What to Do to Stop Taking Things too Personally?
The remedy is to adopt an attitude of emotional detachment. I have written a few articles about this subjects at this website:
Emotional Detachment Can Improve Your Life
Do You Know What Emotional Detachment Is?
You can also find detailed information, with guidance and instructions in my book,
Emotional Detachment for a better Life.
- Ask yourself, “is what you heard true at all?”
- Think, maybe what you heard does not refer to you at all.
- Ask yourself why are you allowing words and feelings to hurt you.
- Work at improving your self-confidence.
- Avoid thinking over and again about what upset you. Instead, think of something useful, and which makes you feel happier.
- When you take something too personally, go away alone for a walk, or exercise your body. This will boost your confidence, and the problem would look smaller.
- Don’t jump to conclusions too quickly.
- Wait a while before responding.
When you learn to use emotional detachment in a positive way, you will be able, in a natural and effortless way, not to take things too personally. You will also not take minor and unimportant incidents too seriously. This will make you feel free and happy.
Emotional detachment is a skill that you can learn, like any other skill and can improve how you feel in many situations. You need a certain degree of emotional detachment, if you wish to feel free and to improve the quality of your life. Its lack, leads to attachment, to fear of letting go, and to avoiding changes.
Here are a few quotes to think about, which relate to the subject of this article.
Don’t Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
Don Miguel Ruiz
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
I cannot always control what goes on outside. But I can always control what goes on inside.
To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.
Lewis B. Smedes
We often add to our pain and suffering by being overly sensitive, over-reacting to minor things and sometimes taking things too personally.
About the Author
Remez Sasson is the founder of Success Consciousness. In his articles and books, he teaches about positive thinking and motivation, visualization, gaining inner strength and inner peace, achieving success, and about improving one’s life.