Sometimes, what you plan or expect does not work as desired.
Sometimes, you feel rejected.
You might study, and yet, get low grades.
You work hard, and then you fail.
How do you feel in these situations?
Do you feel sorry for yourself? Do you feel depressed, resentful and unhappy?
Do you often tell yourself, “I feel sorry for doing or not doing this or that?
This mental attitude of feeling sorry is unhealthy, destructive and unhelpful. What can you do to get out of this negative mood, stop feeling sorry for yourself, feel better, and then move on?
What can you do to regain your confidence and become more positive?
Here are some tips and suggestions, which have helped me, and I believe will help you too.
How to Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself
1. Go out for a walk
Leave everything and go for walk. Even 10-15 minutes of walking will do you good.
Because being out in the open, not in your room, helps you see things from a broader perspective, and often, matters that bother you seem to lose some of their power over you.
Walking out in the street or park is very helpful to release stress and make one more relaxed. There is the activity of the body, which gives exercise to the body, and there is distraction, which takes the mind away from one’s troubles.
2. Figure out why you are feeling sorry for yourself
Devote a few minutes to thinking about the reasons why you are in this mood, and why you are unhappy and unsatisfied.
- Did you fail?
- Did someone you love reject you?
- Did you lose your job?
- Did you lose money?
Ask the questions that refer to your situation.
Next, think of three constructive ways you can fix this matter and write them down.
Devote to this step no more than 10 minutes, because if you keep thinking about the factors that led to this situation, negative and thoughts and feelings might start to get stronger.
Take what you have written down with you everywhere, and start implementing what you have written.
3. Ask questions about how you are feeling
- “Does feeling sorry for myself help me in any way?”
- “Okay, I am feeling bad now, but do I want to keep feeling so?”
- “Do I enjoy allowing these feelings making me suffer?”
- “Do I really want to continue with this mood?”
- “Why not use my time for doing things that make me feel good instead of suffer?”
Next, tell yourself a few times:
“I want to feel happy and confident. I can and would do better the next time.”
4. Get it out of your life and system
It is not a good idea to allow self-pity and feeling sorry to persist.
Pay them attention for a few minutes, focus on your feelings, and realize how unhappy they make you. Do not do that more than a few minutes, since focusing on them makes them grow.
Afterwards, decide to have as little with them as you can.
It would be helpful to occupy your attention with something else, something interesting that will divert your attention away from what is bothering you, like a hobby, sports, or any other activity.
Other things you can do are, meeting friends, going to a movie or taking a vacation
5. Try to minimize the importance of the situation
Something in your life made you feel sorry for yourself. Is it the end of the world? Absolutely not! Many have passed through such situations as yours. This is not something unique to you.
- Think about the good things in your life.
- Think about things that have made you happy.
- Think about the things you do well.
This will help you put things in perspective.
Will what is happening now matter in a week, a month or a year?
Life has its ups and down, and there is absolutely no sense and no reason to let external events affect how you feel. This is the reason I wrote a book about detachment and letting go, and about how not to take things personally.
6. Be nice to other people
- Talk a few words with the seller at the shop
- Help other people in small ways.
- Try to be a better listener.
- Be kind to people.
- Help someone cross a busy street.
- Let some move into your lane while driving.You can find many other ways to be helpful. This will divert your attention away from your sorrows and make you feel more satisfied and happy.
Helping others, helps you stop wallowing in your problems and feeling sorry for yourself.
7. Eat a god, tasty meal
Food is known as a remedy for depression and bad feelings. I am not suggesting eating ice cream or something sweet, though that might help for a while. It is much better to have a good and healthy meal.
You can either prepare a good meal, or go to a restaurant to eat one.
8. Repeat affirmations
I often write how affirmations are helpful in changing one’s mood, state of mind or habits.
When in a bad mood, experiencing self-pity, feeling low in self-esteem, or when feeling sorry for yourself, repeating one or more affirmations can help cheer you up, encourage and motivate you. Affirmations can also boost your self-esteem and increase your confidence.
Here are few affirmations:
- “I can, and I able to change my state of mind.”
- “I am becoming more positive and confident.”
- “I am intent on improving my life and feeling good.”
- “I let into my mind only positive and happy thoughts.”
9. Read inspiring quotes
I have found that reading inspiring and motivational quotes is very helpful to feel better and gain motivation self-esteem and courage.
If you find a certain quote that you like, write it down on paper on a suitable app on your phone, and read it at various times of the day. Think about it, and about how you can apply it to your life. This will help you stop feeling sorry for yourself.
There is no reason in the world why you should have self-pity and feel sorry for yourself. It is a waste of time and energy to wallow in negative feelings, which leads nowhere.
To change your mindset, you need to take action now, not in the future. Do not wait for these bad feeling and thoughts to pass away. Make them pass away by following the tips in this article.
Emotional Detachment for Happier Life
Imagine how free, calm and happy you would be, if you could stop taking things personally and getting upset by what people say or do.
Learn emotional detachment techniques that will help you let go of worries and negative thoughts, and enable you to deal calmly with upsetting situations and stressful people.
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