Look around you, and you will discover that some of the people you encounter are aggressive. Some are almost always aggressive, and others, display aggressiveness on certain occasions and in certain situations. Do you sometimes wonder why people are aggressive, instead of being tactful and considerate?
Why are some of the people aggressive? Let’s begin with defining what is this trait of character.
What Is Aggressiveness?
It is a behavior characterized by impoliteness, inconsiderateness, intolerance, rudeness and often, by speaking in a loud voice. This behavior lacks tact and finesse, and usually provokes anger and hostility, and creates stress and fear in other people.
Aggressiveness alienates people, creates anger, and leads to broken relations, loss and unhappiness. It might also create animosity and estrangement. It often manifests verbally, and sometimes, it might turn into physical aggression, which could be dangerous and harm both parties.
A person displaying this behavior insists on his or her opinions, and does not listen to others. He or she are often self-centered and do not care about the rights of others.
Do not confuse assertiveness with aggression. These are two completely different things. Assertiveness considers the rights of others and is a sign of inner strength, self-esteem and confidence.
Why Do People Display Aggressiveness?
There are various reasons why people display aggressiveness.
1. Sometimes, people become carried away during a discussion, a debate or argument. They raise their voice, try to force their opinions on others, and do not allow anyone to talk or reply.
2. A person who feels insecure and lacks self-esteem might instinctively behave in an aggressive manner, to cover his or her insecurity, lack of inner strength, and absence of self-esteem.
3. Often, criticism awakens aggressive behavior. This could be accounted for the anger caused by the criticism.
4. Feelings of inferiority might also be the reason for this behavior.
5. Anger, resentment and dissatisfaction can trigger this behavior.
6. People become aggressive when they feel threatened by other people. It is an instinctive behavior, aimed to protect oneself from the threat.
7. If you have been living in an aggressive environment, or if you have encountered this behavior from an early age, it is possible that you will instinctively behave in this way.
8. Sometimes, people who are easy-going and tactful, might exhibit aggressiveness in certain situations.
9. Certain people become aggressive when encountering weak or helpless people. For some reason, weakness and helplessness in others trigger in them a rude and bullying behavior.
10. Stress, nervousness or a weak health can sometimes trigger an aggressive behavior.
Whenever you can, you should avoid this behavior. It might seem strange to you, but the opposite behavior, of being considerate, tactful and calm is more helpful. Staying calm, and not raising your voice, shows inner strength and confidence, and will get you more respect from other people.
A calm mind and a certain degree of discipline and detachment are the antidote of aggressiveness. These skills can be developed through various simple techniques, as taught in the books “Calm Down the Nonstop Chatter of Your Mind”, “Strengthen Your Willpower and Self Discipline” and “Emotional Detachment for Happier life”.
These same skills would help stay can and unaffected emotionally when people treat you harshly or try to hurt your feelings.
Imagine how free, calm and happy you would be, if you could stop getting upset by what people say or do, let go of negative thoughts and emotions, and avoid taking things personally.